Some New Faces
by EVANGELINE DAVIS
EVANGELINE DAVIS now lives in Greensboro, N. C., where her husband is a newspaperman. She was formerly a staff writer for the Atlanta Georgian.
TREMBLING with fear in the old bones that fiction writers for the frilly salad magazines are going to get so far down in those ruts they’ll never escape, I offer free the following list of new ideas for characters.
JOHN: A tall, handsome, unusually healthy male. A former All-American football player, He is not a veteran of World War II or any other war. He has no trick knees, broken arches, or obscure tropical disease. His wartime occupation was: gigolo. He was not in the service for the simple reason he ran out the back door every time the draft officers ran in the front door.
JIM; A tall, handsome, unusually sickly male. He wears glasses, is very quiet, and seems to be thinking deep thoughts all the time, like a professor or a scientist. He just doesn’t have anything to say (he wouldn’t have gumption enough to say it if he did).
BILL: A tall, handsome, unusually healthy male. He is struggling at the bottom of the ladder in an advertising agency. He couldn’t get any other job in the agency, because his father is a bricklayer. As the story progresses, he remains tall, handsome, and so forth, and at the bottom of the ladder of the advertising agency.
JACK: A homely guy, with an engaging grin and hair that hangs down on his face. The grin infuriates everyone. Especially his girl, who leaves him flat for the villain, a caddish sort of fellow who has over four million dollars and doesn’t smoke or drink.
WILLIAM: A blond male with broad shoulders who likes to sail boats. He seems to like scraping, painting, calking, and overhauling them. He is always dirty and unkempt. The rich girl thinks he is a drip but he gets cleaned up and takes her to dinner at the local chop suey house and she is sure of it.
HARRY: The Western type. He’s of medium height, with medium hair, narrow shoulders, medium eyes that refuse to glint in the sun even after hours of practice. He can’t shoot very well, either, and killed a cow when he was shooting at a desperado. He’s finally killed in a gun battle with Black Demon, who marries the heroine. Between them, things hum.
STEPHEN: A young, frightened fellow who’s doing his first cruise under the Old Man, a skipper tough as they come. Stephen, with a chance to save the ship and all their lives when a combination typhoon, hurricane, and windstorm hits, is too scared to move from under his bunk. He’s drowned there.
ANN: A slight, wispy female with cute blue eyes, cute turned-up nose, cute freckles, cute clothes, cute way of talking. She becomes an old maid because she’s too damn cute for anyone to put up with her.
FRANCES: A tall, sophisticated female— handsome and well dressed, perfectly groomed. She is a career woman and hard as nails. She stays that way too, happy and carefree, until her death at the age of 109.
ADELE: A studious-appearing female who wears thick horn-rimmed glasses. She never does acquire a liking for men and she looks like the very devil when she takes off her glasses. Because she is a Recluse all the way, that’s all right anyway.
BERTHA: A wholesome, brunette All-American girl, at home with tennis racquets, golf sticks, and billiard cues. She helps old ladies across the street. Men steer clear of her because she’s Athletic. Good thing too. Turns out she’s a homicidal maniac and winds up in an institution.
MARTHA: A pert redhead, snappy with the comeback. She always has the last word. She’s rich as all get out, has curves in the right places and a new convertible. She keeps things pepped up. She decides, however, to move to South America and raise mongooses or something like that. Everyone heaves a sigh of relief.
Well, there you are, authors. Make the most of them.