By ARTHUR B. MUSGRAVE
In view of the paper shortage and to save a lot of creative repetition, we present here a single, all-purpose, standard letter for all hometown newspapers to address each week to the GI Joes overseas.
Well, here’s all the news of this week to cheer you and your buddies on in the fight for freedom and to get back home again. The weather has been unusually __ this past week, setting an all-time record. Another freak __ storm struck the near-by town of __ Deliberating only __ minutes, a criminal court jury returned a verdict of __ in the case of __ __.
Chief __ of the police department and Commissioner __ of the city __ department were indicted again for conspiracy. They charged the indictment was a political move, and said they hoped for an early trial. The political campaign picked up new speed as Candidate __ demanded a probe of the __ program and called __ __ a __ As you know, Joe, we are an independent paper, but it is obvious to all impartial observers that the __ party is all washed up.
The ___ club held its weekly luncheon meeting, and heard the __ of the __ board describe his recent trip to Washington. A stiff court fight, looms in the case of the pet __ that was bequeathed $._ by his faithful master, as more relatives announced they are contesting the will.
Police lost a race with the stork when Mrs._ __ had a bouncing baby __ born in the patrol cur on the way to the hospital before dawn. Officer __ is doing well, too. — Ha-ha, get it, Joe? At a special meeting the school board voted to postpone a decision on revamping the __ system, after hearing a report from a committee t hat had been making a survey of the situation.
The chamber of commerce reported that plans being laid for expansion of __ airport call for a field that will be more than twice as large as La Guardia Field, to aid the city’s bid for postwar travel. The report predicted that because of its __ location the city would be the fastest-growing in the state.
Senator __ reported to his constituents on his peace program, in which he advocates the U. S. seize all Pacific and Atlantic islands, along with adjacent territories, and build secret __s along the Canadian border. He said both parties are in fundamental agreement on foreign policy, it being the consensus of opinion that a world organization is needed, provided its affairs are subject to O. K. by the Senate.
Passage of the __ bill, providing an income of $__ a month for all __s, was predicted by the national headquarters of the association. The Legion is launching a drive for new members. Creation of a non-political Veterans’ Bureau to aid returning soldiers was voted by the City Council.
An immediate appeal was being prepared by the __ company from a War Labor Board decision.
A new movie opened at the __ theater, starring __ and __. It is a story about a soldier and a nurse who get into some pretty tight spots and there is some swell tap dancing. The president of __ college told the __ organizalion that the greatest need of returning veterans would be facilities for more education. Chaplain __, who returned from the Pacific __ days ago, predicted in a talk Sunday that there would be a great upsurge in religion as a result of war experiences.
Remember __? He’s reported to have had an offer from one of the big league clubs to play as a __ next season if you guys haven’t crossed the East goal line by then. Coach __ said in a statement that our victories could be directly traced to the stubborn fighting qualities instilled on the gridiron, and predicted a great upsurge in sports in the post-war world.
The __s beat the __ The __s routed the __s. The __s downed the __s. The __s overpowered the __s. The __s torpedoed the __s, etc. Keep punching, and Tojo will soon be on the ropes, too.