The War

The bill is now running at the rate of $250,000,000 per day.


The present Liberty ship, of which we now have between 2500 and 3000, has little future as a cargo liner. It will be a good tramp ship after the war, but that is not enough.

U. S. Maritime Commission

A wholly new epoch is introduced in the musical art by the invention of the record. Only from this moment, as a matter of fact, has the art a living history! Remember that we of today can merely speculate upon the character of performances of music antedating the period of the Renaissance. We do not even know with any precision how Bach and Handel sounded to their contemporaries.


I have such a seething hatred for the Japs, sometimes I feel I could fight them with my bare fists.

LT. EUNICE HATCHITT, Corregidor nurse

We are playing in the big leagues. You can’t hit a home run by bunting. You have to step up there and take your cut at the ball.



Members of the Cambridge school committee were fortunate in being extended the courtesy by Harvard University of attending the exercises in Sanders Theater, Monday, at which Prime Minister Churchill was given the degree of LL.D. An impression or two from one just sitting and listening might be of interest.

Naturally the first question one asks himself is: “Now, of whom does he remind me?” or more colloquially, “Who is he like?” I ran over a long list and the nearest I could come to an answer was: “He reminds me most of Herbert Hoover.”

RUSSELL A. WOOD, Cambridge school committee member

If you wear high heels long enough, your feet will turn into hooves.

HARRY J. PALTER, Shoestore proprietor

The type of union leader you have to deal with is determined by the way the union was born in industry. If it was born in strife, you have the rough, roustabout type of leader. If the union was born in harmony, you have intelligent leadership.

JOHN J. WHITNEY, Ellsworth, Me., banker

I’m going right on criticizing this country until Negroes can live like first-class citizens.


The Lawyers

The bench and the bar do not seem to realize that a small, healthy bar is preferable to an overpopulated slum, sheltering shysters, solicitors, touts, cappers, embezzlers, and chiselers.

F. REGIS NOEL, Washington attorney

A distribution otherwise constituting a distribution in complete liquidation within the meaning of this paragraph shall not be considered as not constituting such a distribution merely because it does not constitute a distribution or liquidation within the meaning of the corporate law under which the distribution is made; and for the purposes of this paragraph a transfer of property of such other corporation to the taxpayer shall not be considered as not constituting a distribution (or one of a series of distributions) in complete cancellation or redemption of all the stock of such other corporation, merely because the carrying out of the plan involves (i) the transfer under the plan to the taxpayer by such other corporation of property, not attributable to shares owned by the taxpayer, upon an exchange described in paragraph (4) of this subsection, and (ii) the complete cancellation or redemption under the plan, as a result of exchanges described in paragraph (3) of this subsection, of the shares not owned by the taxpayer.

U. S. INTERNAL REVENUE CODE, Sect. 112, Subsect. 6 (d)

We are of the opinion that it would be unlawful to fish for trout from the back of a camel.


Not every Administration blunder is a military secret.


After the War

There will be a great tendency to obliterate moral standards in the matter of chastity. I can see young women doing things they never did before.


At times a man needs a drink more at one o’clock in the morning than he does at 9.00 P.M.



Mark my words, gentlemen, it is the purpose of the Frankfurter-Niles-Laski-Landis group to regiment every man, woman, and child in this country in one huge state — Socialistic, Communist, or Fascist, as you will — and it is strongly hinted that we are destined to become but one unit in an international world of the same collectivist scheme.


When I think of what my fellow students are going through in China, many having had to move their whole University inland, I am profoundly grateful to have anything to eat at all.

PEARL SUN, Granddaughter of Sun Yat-sen

Middle-aged women, especially, should be extremely careful of lipstick with too much purple in it. That adds to their age.

WALLY WESTMORE, Hollywood make-up expert

While air assault is not without cost, this type of warfare is actually cheapest on all counts, and is by far the greatest economizer in human lives.


Versailles Treaty

It is perhaps the most astonishing feat in history that the Germans have been able to persuade the minds of an educated and half-witted world to believe that they were vindictively treated by a treaty the reparation and disarmament clauses of which were never enforced and which took from them nothing in Europe which they had not acquired by robbery and murder.


I don’t want to spend the rest of my life leaning on pianos and shouting songs.


We’ve had more injuries from bicycles than from our missions; in fact, we’re thinking of awarding Purple Hearts for bicyclers who fail to come out of slow rolls.

CAPT. KEMAR K. LEM ASTER, Portland, Ore.

Deputy Nitwit

It is very desirable for a man like Hitler to have a perfect nitwit as his deputy, because then no one will get rid of the Führer in order to put in his deputy.


There is little prospect that the inefficient teaching of today will be replaced by expert instruction in the future.

SAMUEL M. BROWNELL, Yale professor

If our people are willing to place the responsibility on a fellow citizen to select fellow citizens for the armed services, why not let the draft board members decide on adequate compensation for their wives and children?

CHARLES W. HAWKINS, Draft board member

I am not a Communist. I think the American Communists are pretty futile, feeble people. I am a Socialist.

ELMER RICE,Playwright

What About Hitler?

Just as surely as Winston Churchill got England safely through her greatest crisis, so did Neville Chamberlain get her into it, and get us into it, and get the world into it.

FLORENCE E. ALLEN, U. S. Circuit Judge, Cleveland

History shows the kibitzer is always more excited than the players.