The Genius Discovery Company

As it is one of the basic principles of idealistic literature that what is too good to be true really is true, no apology is needed for the republication of the following circulars. It seems incredible that a method has been found by which genius can be detected instantly and forced to assume its natural port and form as if touched by the spear of Ithuriel, but an air of probability is given to the announcement by the fact that the discovery has not been heralded with advance notices and theoretical articles. There is something very practical about the tone of this intellectual cracksman who so confidently asserts that he can “ penetrate the spiritual safe where poets are keeping their souls to-day,” and it is not wise for ordinary people to be skeptical. I have been assured by several talented journalists that this is an age of invention, and it is a matter of universal comment that some of the greatest achievements were at first regarded with a bilious eye by many of our most trained minds. After all, is it any more remarkable that a method should be discovered by which genius can be detected in any form than that a knowledge of just what genius is, should be, and might become, is, and has been from time immemorial, the property of prolific essayists and after - dinner speakers “ flown with insolence and wine ” ?

Although the circulars given here speak for themselves, a word of explanation may not be out of place. They emanated from the fertile if somewhat irreverent brain of a young promoter whose business it is to float all kinds of companies and corporations. He can see a potential trust in any form of human endeavor, from highway robbery to ruling a nation, and asserts that he has already floated several successful companies having much less basis in reason than the one on which he is now engaged. He gives it as his experience that nothing succeeds like a plausible absurdity. “ You must blow your bubble to the point of bursting before you can see the rainbow colors in it,” is one of his favorite maxims, and “ Let there be a cheerful amount of comedy in your initial scheme ; the receiver of the Company can attend to putting in the tragedy,” is another.

The first circular is intended for the investing public, and is not without its attractive and convincing features.


will do well to read this circular carefully. Wherever there is a long-felt want there is money to be made in filling it, and it is to fill just such a want that we have organized


This country needs more geniuses. Everybody knows it. Everybody admits it. Everybody laments it.

Geniuses we already have, but not in sufficient numbers to supply the demand. But we have enough to enable us to study their nature, habits, characteristics, possibilities, etc. Having devoted years of research to the subject, and spent thousands of dollars on experiments, mostly loans, we are now in a position to state with all confidence that it is entirely possible to make the handling of geniuses a matter of both credit and profit.

There is an impression in some quarters that geniuses are born, not made. Wrong, entirely wrong. Wrong on both counts.

Geniuses are neither born nor made.


We know this because we have seen them in the act of being discovered by editors, publishers, and authors who have outlived their usefulness.

Moreover we have discovered several ourselves.

But the great trouble with geniuses discovered in this way is that they will not stay discovered, and sometimes they have been known to turn on their discoverers and make monkeys of them.

This has caused much annoyance to many of the eminent thinkers who now discover geniuses instinctively. After having taken the trouble to discover one to the extent of several profitable magazine articles and syndicated reviews, the beneficiary has been known to refuse to be paraded in public as a find. He insists on going forth on his own responsibility without heeding the good advice that is so kindly lavished upon him.

With all friction of this kind we propose to do away. But to tell how would be to tell the secret that has been discovered before we have received our deserved reward. By our infallible method we are able to discover every kind of genius, after the payment of a moderate fee; and long experience in log-rolling makes us sure that we can successfully launch them all to undoubted social, financial, or any other desired kind of success.

But like everything else of importance this requires money to bring it before the public and get the Company in operation. We have a limited number of shares of common stock still on hand which we are willing to sell at par. For further information address, P. Gowanus McGruder, Canned Food Villa, Amityville, Long Island, N. Y.

The second circular is one that comes home to us all. Like the first it also has the trail of the money-maker upon it, but who would begrudge such a paltry sum as five dollars in return for having the question with which it deals settled beyond cavil?


Think of this carefully ! There may be money in it! Examine yourself! Question yourself! Be honest with yourself ! When you read articles in the magazines that tell what a genius should be, do you ever feel that they contain a more or less accurate description of your own abilities ? If so you should communicate with us ! If you are a genius, — and is there any reason why you should not be ? — let not your light be hidden under a bushel. You should shine before the world.

If you feel within you the promptings of genius do not hesitate. Send us your photograph, a candid sketch of your life and achievements, not exceeding five hundred pages of typewriting, and a fee of five dollars (registered letter or postoffice order), and we will tell you the truth by return mail.

Don’t be modest. Don’t stand in your own light. Let us hear from you. All communications private.

In the third circular still another avenue for money-making is disclosed, and the imagination kindles at the possibilities that are barely hinted at.

DEAR MADAM, — Knowing that it is the ambition of all society leaders like yourself to have a salon graced with the presence of the brightest geniuses of their time, we make bold to call your attention to the business of our Company.


is prepared to supply, at the shortest notice and at reasonable rates, properly attested geniuses of all kinds. Please examine our list of eccentric geniuses before looking elsewhere. Musical, poetical, artistic, and critical geniuses at cut rates.

Geniuses supplied for banquets, parties, balls, receptions, weddings, etc.

Send ten cents in stamps for our booklet on How to Successfully Flatter Geniuses. Press clippings supplied with all geniuses. Beware of imitations.

Whatever may be thought of this scheme, it certainly promises returns to the promoter.