My Rapist Apologized
The Kavanaugh allegations led Deborah Copaken to confront the man who assaulted her years ago. After he apologized, she wrote, “30 years of pain and grief fell out of me.”
Kudos to Ms. Copaken for her insightful article, and for having the courage to provide an opportunity both for her catharsis and for her rapist’s personal redemption. He may not have remembered his 30-year-old actions, but by approaching him without anger and recrimination, she allowed for simultaneous forgiveness and contrition.
She is also correct in asserting that a potential Supreme Court justice must be held to a higher standard, and not simply get a pass for a preppie’s “youthful indiscretion.”
My two roommates in college told me their stories of rape. I escaped rape once when, while walking down the road, a man placed a knife to my throat. I cleverly talked my way out of it, and the clincher was that I had a camera over my shoulder and told him I had already taken his photo. Now imagine this: He was wearing red shorts and had a black ski mask over his head, that’s all, and was next to a busy inner-city street holding me, behind my back, and a knife blade to my neck. The handle was broken off of it. No one stopped, or honked their horn, on that sun-filled day. Yet somehow when I told him I had taken his photo, he let me go and I walked away fast ... only to think I had a camera and quickly opened it up and swung around to take a photo of his back. I did turn that in to the police a few days later, but filed no papers, as there was no name, etc. I just gave them a copy of his photo (they knew him) and I was free to go. I walked home, which was only a few blocks away, then I threw up and passed out, shaking so hard in terror. I was afraid for months until I moved, not only for me but for everyone I lived with at the time.