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While most of the world is either face down or bleary-eyed by now, the rest of us are still stone cold sober and sitting straight up. Which is to say that some are celebrating St. Patrick's Day on Sunday and some are not. For the rest of us, this is what the holiday really looks like.

We'll start off with the realest, most authentic St. Patrick's Day celebrators: the ones from Dublin, Ireland. These are real Irish people doing real Irish things -- like wearing the same hats we have stateside and the same novelty glasses. Oh well, look at that one guy's beard. It's magnificent:

This guy was spotted at a Boston Red Sox spring training game in Tampa, Florida, because of course he was.

House Rep. Ed Markey wore an ugly green tie to avoid getting pinched at the annual St. Patrick's Day breakfast in South Boston, Massachusetts. No leprechauns present here:

To celebrate St. Patrick's Day in Romania, they play the goat. Well, it's actually a bagpipe covered in goat skin. Still playing a goat, though:

Judging by this pretty picture from Buzzfeed's Ben Smith, it was a beautiful day for the St. Patrick's Day parade in Brooklyn, New York today:

Some dogs got in on the fun in Montreal, Quebec today:

This dog in Berlin, Germany wasn't getting pinched today, either. In fact, it might be the best-dressed person/thing we've seen all day:

Prince William and Duchess Kate wore some shrubbery to celebrate on Sunday. You'll notice the guard is not wearing any green at all. He was pinched immediately after this picture was taken, one would hope:

Meanwhile, someone dyed the water in the White House fountain green today:

Something tells me Biden got loose from the Secret Service before his trip to see the Pope.

Though we suspect this next picture of revellers celebrating in a New York bar a day early is what most people's St. Patrick's Day looked like. Or, it looked like this three or four times. But then by the fifth round Jonny said something offensive, so Alex went outside for a smoke, where he ended up getting into a scrap with four lads from down the way. So then you all got into a cab and settled on getting Chinese food, because egg rolls.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, y'all.

(All photos via the AP unless otherwise stated.)

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.

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