The quandary of Julian Assange's situation, with diplomatic asylum granted by Ecuador but no way to leave its London embassy without arrest, is just too tantalizing for news organizations not to weigh in on, even if it means suggesting some goofy theories.
The basic problem set up by Ecuador's decision to grant Assange asylum last week is that when Assange is inside the Ecuadorian embassy he's on sovereign soil, and he's immune from arrest if he's riding in a diplomatic car, but since the embassy has no internal garage he has no way to get to the car without stepping on British soil and opening himself up to arrest. And police are surrounding the building. Some reporters have speculated on the possibility of using a diplomatic crate or a daring night-time escape, but until now, there has been news happening to divert that speculation. Now that the news in his case has basically come to a halt with a standoff between Ecuador and Britain, those covering the story have to come up with ways to push the WikiLeaks story forward, and for some that means wacky suggestions on how Assange could make his escape. We've collected the wackiest, below.
Zip Line: Reuters TV asked ZDNet columnist and Criminologist Zack Whittaker to have a crack at the problem, and among his three ideas was a zip-line from the embassy to the car. That would make for some great photo opportunities and a truly awesome escape, but as London Mayor Boris Johnson reminded the world during the Olympics, zip-lines can get stuck, to hilarious results.
Trunk of a car: The thing about suggesting Assange sneak out in the trunk of a car, as CNN's Brian Todd did on Monday, is that it kind of misses the point. Assange would be protected inside a diplomatic car, even if he was in a seat, and as Todd explains later in the segment, the actual problem is not hiding in the car, it's getting to the car. But at least Todd's idea lets us see him act it out:
Mass Impersonation: On the wacky end of the spectrum, Reddit suggests a Thomas Crown-inspired disguise scheme: "An international law expert said theoretically a hundred people in disguises could enter the embassy and Assange could exit with them disguised as one of them when they all left and the police would not have the power to arrest any of them." So U.K. police, be on the lookout for 100 redditors all dressed up a little like Mr. Humphries from Are You Being Served. Pierce Brosnan as Thomas Crown shows us how it's done:
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.
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