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Last night on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart explored the issues facing London as it plans for the 2012 Olympics. The long list includes: security shortages, walk-outs of border control, transportation problems, and summer storms. And, Stewart quipped, "Thomas the Tank Engine has crashed, killing 50. Stonehenge has toppled like dominoes, and London Bridge is falling down. I repeat: London Bridge is falling down."

First, the security issue. A report said that a hotel where Olympic officials were staying was supposed to have 80 guards, but only two showed up. One of them was arrested for having weed. "You know it's bad when Johnny 'Wake and Bake' is the responsible guard," Stewart said. An Olympic security trainer also told trainees that it was okay if someone had a knife, since the most people could do was stab someone a couple times. Stewart suggested an addition to the security trainer job application: "What do you think is the acceptable number of stabbings on your watch? A: 0. B: Anything other than zero."

Stewart then went for London's plans for the opening ceremony. After all, all seemed to be forgiven in China after an elaborate, well-orchestrated opening ceremony. Alas, London may not have such luck. News shots of a stadium model showed it was filled with grass, where live animals, a mosh pit filled with the public, and a real cricket game would be parts of the ceremony. Stewart was flabbergasted: "Really Britain? Your answer to the precision spectacle of China's 2008 games is to let a few dozen sheep loose on the Teletubbies set?"


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