Some Suggestions for New Assad E-Mail Passwords
Bashar al-Assad's office e-mail accounts were hacked by the Anonymous collective the other day, in part because... well, it's hard to believe:
While Anonymous is infamous for its hacking know-how, it doesn't take a genius computer programmer to guess one of the passwords commonly used by Assad's office accounts: 12345. The string of consecutive numbers is the second-weakest password according to a 2011 study.
As a public service to the Ba'ath regime in its dying days, I thought I would suggest a few alternative e-mail passwords he could use:
1. MyWifeIsSoHot
2. MyWifeIsSmokingHot
3. QueenRaniaIsSoHot
4. SergeiLavrovIsSoHot
5. Rosebud
6. ArabSpringGotoHellAsstards
7. KissMyAssSusanRice
8. IWasGoingtoExpelYouAnywayHamas
9. JewsSuck36
10. IWantDaddyNow
Update: Max Fisher has contributed numbers 11-13, in honor of that wonderful and incisive Vogue profile of the Assads:
11. WildlyDemocracticPrinciples
12. JoanJulietBuckIsSoHot
13. Vogue4Lyfe