Al Qaeda has become a parody of itself. In the latest issue of Inspire, terrorist operative Abu Suhail went out of his way to admonish Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for suggesting the U.S. played a role in the 9/11 attacks. "The Iranian government has professed on the tongue of its president Ahmadinejad that it does not believe that al Qaeda was behind 9/11 but rather, the U.S. government," wrote Suhail. "So we may ask the question: why would Iran ascribe to such a ridiculous belief that stands in the face of all logic and evidence?" Getting a little indignant, Suhail added, "Iran and the Shi’a in general do not want to give al-Qaeda credit for the greatest and biggest operation ever committed against America."
It must be rather frustrating to be a terrorist and watch so many people try to give credit for your most infamous attack--to your sworn enemy, no less!
And that's exactly the scenario imagined in a Onion News Network sketch from back in 2008, when 9/11 Truthers were still a thing. The clip featured an indignant Al Qaeda member arguing that he deserved the credit. It remains a classic (and you can watch it below), but here's a snippet of the exchange between fictional Truther William Gerard and fictional Al Qaeda operative Omar Al-Farouq:
Gerard: There were thermite bombs used in bringing down those buildings
Al-Farouq: I can assure you we did not use thermite bombs... We flew an enormous airplane into a building. Ok. I think it is obvious what caused the building to crumble.
Gerard: Why are you being so close-minded to this sir?
Al-Farouq: How would you like it if you spent two months in a mountain cave, sleeping on rocks planning something really special only to have someone take the credit away from you?
Suhail could have saved himself some trouble and simply lifted the Onion writers's lines. Here's the very funny video:
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.