The Entirely Inevitable Tefillin Bomb

It had to happen, of course.

A 17-year-old Jewish teenager tying on tefillin, the leather strap-and-box prayer apparatus, was the reason the crew of Flight 3079 became alarmed, the police said.

I especially like this description:

The official said the passenger had "religious beads" but would not elaborate other than to say, "It's turned out to be a nonthreat."

On a flight not long ago from New York, I brought in my carry-on a dozen H&H everything bagels, a whitefish, and a bag of lox wings. This is what I would describe as a threat to public safety.