Bathroom Sex, Minneapolis-Style

The Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport has a lot of handsome and overpriced stores, but the bathrooms are in terrible shape. I was in the airport yesterday, for reasons too complicated to explain, and I was there for quite a while, and had quite a lot of coffee, so I visited all the bathrooms, including the Larry Craig Memorial bathroom. It was very dirty and unappealing, almost Wal-Mart dirty, not at all a place I would go for hypocritical Republican gay secret sex, if I were the type who went in for that sort of thing. My suggestion, for reasons of hygiene, is not to wide-stance it there, and not because the police are watching. My recommendation -- and this is meant for all those Republicans who will soon be traveling to Minneapolis for the convention -- is to go for the try-not-to-touch-anything-and-get-out-as-quickly-as-possible stance.