If Barack Obama really cared about Israel, he'd climb Masada at dawn, and go to Afula for falafel.

Here is the Israel tour from Hell:

8 A.M. Breakfast at the King David Hotel with Defense Minister Ehud Barak

8:45 A.M. Meeting at the hotel with opposition leader MK Benjamin Netanyahu

9:45 A.M. Visit to Yad Vashem Holocaust Memorial, wreath-laying at Hall of Remembrance

11 A.M. Meeting with President Shimon Peres

1:30 P.M. Meeting with Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas at the Muqata, in Ramallah

2:45 P.M. Meeting with Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni

4:15 P.M. Visit to Sderot with Livni and Public Security Minister Avi Dichter

5:10 P.M. Press conference at Sderot police station

8:30 P.M. Dinner with Prime Minister Ehud Olmert

10:10 P.M. Visit to the Western Wall


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