Because I am a highly trained TV writer and have sources throughout Hollywood, I can now bring you, verbatim, the pitch meeting in which the now-canceled Fox Network sitcom Costello was first proposed--

Fox Executive No. 1: OK, give us the high concept.

Writer: Right, Costello is Good Will Hunting meets, well, Good Will Hunting, but with a chick instead of Matt Damon.

Fox Executive No. 2: All right, but what's the concept, what's the theme?

Writer: Oh, right. The theme is, Irish people are retards.

Fox Executive No. 2: [thoughtfully] Yeah, I can work with that, but there's got to be something more ...

Writer: OK, how about this: Irish people are loud retards.

Fox Executive No. 1: That sounds like a winner to me!

Writer: One more thing: We'll call the father Spud. Get it, like potato?
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