From the Gray Lady, a Modest Dip Proposal. On Microblogging Platform, a Furor. For Peas, a New Use. There are times when The Times out-Timeses itself, and then there was Wednesday. The country's largest newspaper smugly tweeted a link to a recipe for guacamole. One made with peas. "Trust us," it read.
Most assuredly, America did not.
You don't put peas in guacamole https://t.co/kG3ewrVv6f— Jeb Bush (@JebBush) July 1, 2015
.@nytimes rot in hell you bastards— Simon Maloy (@SimonMaloy) July 1, 2015
As a journalist, I knew I had to investigate for myself, and as a Texan, I knew my findings were fixin’ to rile me up.
I tried to follow Melissa Clark's recipe exactly, but I had to make a few modifications. First, I made a much smaller batch, because I don't believe in wasting avocados on an abomination. Second, I didn't have time to roast my jalapeno, though I doubt that would have improved things. Finally, I did not sprinkle any sunflower seeds over the top; I don't have those on hand because I'm not some kind of socialist.
But I endeavored to follow the rest as closely as I could—even the parts that strongly contradict modern-day guac science. Most recipes use onions, but Clark uses scallions, so I did too. She added lime zest for some reason, so I fished out my microplane and started grating. And yes, I took a bag of fresh snap peas* and shucked them. Like you do.
Here's the "normal" version, made as God intended, with avocados, an onion substance (scallions), salt, lime, and cilantro. Usually I also add garlic or onion powder, but I skipped that this time because I know all about controlled trials.
The, ahem, "modified" one I made the same way, except with a mash of peas added at the end:
"Alright, which should I try first, the American guac or the terrorist one?" asked my boyfriend.