About 10 years ago, my mom announced she had left my dad. She later explained that one of the reasons (among many) was that he had sexually assaulted her (an assault that was never reported to authorities).
My brother has told me on numerous occasions that he doesn’t believe her sexual-assault accusation, though from conversations with my mom, it’s apparent that she is not aware of his lack of belief. I have believed her all along and find myself unable to continue a relationship with my brother given his dismissive opinion of my mom and his dishonesty about it to her directly. Frankly, it makes me sick. I am now the father of a beautiful daughter and my brother’s attitude toward our mom, which I think has misogynistic roots, makes me distrust the way he might treat my daughter someday.
Given that my brother’s attitude sickens me and that I don’t trust him, I have more or less stopped talking to him and don’t see a way out of this stance. Is it possible to have a relationship with a brother who doesn’t believe my mom’s claim that she was sexually assaulted by my dad?
This sounds like a very upsetting situation—not only hearing your mother say that your father assaulted her, but being alone in your reaction to this disturbing news. I can imagine how hard it must be to have to sit with this information and the intense feelings it brings up while perhaps the one person in the same familial position—your sibling—sees it very differently. What I think would make things even more painful, though, is cutting off your relationship with your brother.