Prince George of England turns the big 0-1 later this month, and Vanity Fair has seen fit to name him "the World's Most Eligible Infant."
Given the magazine's fascination with royals, pseudo-royals, and American royals, we think their implied ranking of wealthy babies is slightly skewed. George is probably just the second most eligible bachelor in diapers, according to The Wire's important investigation. (Also: You're not really infant anymore at one-year old.) Using Forbes' "Most Eligible Billionaire Bachelors" list as a model (we used the parents' net worth, since babies don't have jobs), we present the 7 babies all parents should want their children to playdate. This ranking is based on the parent's net worth, but also pedigree (being the child of actual royalty helps), cuteness, and general likability.
1. Blue Ivy Carter
Parents: Beyonce and Jay Z
Net worth: $1 billion
The Knowles-Carter family is basically American music royalty.
2. Prince George
Parents: Kate Middleton and Prince William
Net worth: $41 million (not counting their inheritance)
Vanity Fair's most eligible infant had his birth live blogged by the international media, which was a bit much, but also a sign of how famous he is. George also has his own meme. His parents aren't nearly as wealthy on their own, but his great-grandma kind of owns a country that he will one day get to rule over.
3. Margaret Laura “Mila” Hager
Parents: Jenna Bush Hager and Henry Chase Hager
Net worth: $2 million
Mila is the daughter of Jenna Bush Hager. Her grandfather and her great-grandfather ran the United States for 12 years, which is more than Prince George's paternal line can say.
4. North West
Parents: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
Net worth: $185 million
North gets a bad rap for coming on the heels of Ms. Blue Ivy, but she's actually really adorable. And her Kidchella birthday party seemed nice, especially if you ignore all the cultural appropriation going on.
5. Elijah John
Parents: Elton John and David Furnish
Net worth: $490 million
If anyone has a chance of getting Elton John to sing at his wedding it's this kid.
6. Everest Lucas
Parents: Melody Hobson and George Lucas
Net worth: $5.2 billion
Her dad created Star Wars. Forbes would have listed him first based on net worth, but we saw episodes I, II and III.
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.