The trailer for the eagerly anticipated (by some) movie adaptation of bestselling Twilight fanfic Fifty Shades of Grey has arrived—complete with a new Beyoncé version of "Crazy in Love"—and, thankfully for you, we're here to help guide you through it.
Yes, if you hadn't heard, Fifty Shades of Grey is E.L. James' story of the virginal Anastasia Steele, who meets the not-so-virginal Christian Grey, and has some S&M-y sex with him. But of course a movie trailer can't really show all the dirty deeds, so we set out to decode it.
Anastasia's cardigan-floral button down combo ...
These garments strongly imply that Anastasia (played by Dakota Johnson) is a virgin/is not having any sex.
What does it mean, sex-wise? No sex.
Elevator doors closing ...
Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) watches Anastasia get into an elevator. Looks are exchanged.
What does it mean, sex-wise? Maybe sorta kinda thinking about sex.
This intense look ...
Anastasia says, "that must be really boring," in response to Christian's assertion that he "exercises control in all things." He gives her this look. He is most certainly thinking about sex.
What does it mean, sex-wise? Definitely thinking about sex.
This kiss ...
Sex may not be happening yet, but it's going to happen.
What does it mean, sex-wise? Sex is definitely on the table.
A bedroom scene ...
The person who cut this trailer wants you to know that Anastasia and Christian are now making love.
What does it mean, sex-wise? Sex, of some sort, is occurring.
Under the table leg touching ...
Anastasia and Christian get into some serious leg-touching. But they're in public!
What does it mean, sex-wise? No sex in this instant, but they're definitely having lots of sex elsewhere.
What does it mean, sex-wise? Yes. The sex is happening. In the sex room.
In other words:
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