Today in celebrity gossip: Justin Bieber should probably not take any more international trips, George Clooney should probably not do tequila shots with surly billionaires, and Olivia Wilde went and had a baby.
Justin Bieber's adventures in international diplomacy continue! First there was the time he toured Amsterdam's Anne Frank House and then openly fantasized that the deceased Holocaust victim would have been a "Belieber." Now he's terrorizing Japan like a radioactive, city-stomping abomination writ tiny. But what started off as merely tasteless transgressions (like encouraging Japanese citizens to throw gang signs) took a turn for the historically insensitive when he photographed himself hanging out at the Yasukuni war shrine while in Tokyo. Thinking he was simply chillin' at a very Instagrammable Japanese church or whatever, he was actually inadvertently paying homage to "2.5 million Japanese soldiers who died during World War II, including many war criminals." As those of you who weren't home schooled by vampiric music industry handlers and Ed Hardy-sporting stage parents may recall, Japan made some BOLD MOVES during WWII, and those actions remain deeply upsetting to their then-beleaguered neighbors China and South Korea. Those nations' fans were the first to point out Bieber's insensitivity in accidentally celebrating Japanese war criminals, and that hastened Bieber to delete the images and issue a sincere-seeming apology:
While in Japan I asked my driver to pull over for which I saw a beautiful shrine. I was misled to think the Shrines were only a place of prayer. To anyone I have offended I am extremely sorry. I love you China and I love you Japan.
A classic "to anyone I have offended" apology! But fine, let the record show that he did apologize. Next step is apologizing for captioning the following selfie "I am fashion":
No you are not, Justin Bieber. [Page Six]
It should come as reassuring to the rest of us that no matter how handsome and wealthy and successful a man may be, there's always someone more powerful with the ability to push that man around. George Clooney was reminded of this fact recently when he got into a drunken argument with billionaire Steve Wynn during a booze-soaked dinner party at Wynn's Encore hotel. According to Page Six's source, "Wynn was provoking George, talking about politics," specifically about whether or not George Clooney's bestie Barack Obama was "an a - - hole." Clooney took the 'he is not an a - - hole' side of the argument and pretty soon the question turned to whether or not Steve Wynn himself was the actual "a - - hole." Clooney's argument became especially persuasive when "he pointed his finger at Steve, and 'Wynn’s three goon-like bodyguards immediately loomed up behind [him]'" at which point Clooney "got up and walked out," which would constitute either winning or losing the debate depending on one's perspective. Later, both men took their dispute to the press, offering separate statements to the Las Vegas Review-Journal. As Clooney explained, "I wasn't going to sit at his table while he was being such a jackass." Wynn, meanwhile, is concerned about George Clooney's drinking: "Clooney's fun to be with when he's sober. If you have a chance to drink with him, you want to get there early, and don't stay late." And that is what happened! [Gawker, Page Six]
Remember that time Jodie Foster remained professionally, aggressively closeted for decades only to half-heartedly come out under apparent duress during a speech at the Golden Globes wherein she shamed everybody for not minding their own business? Well, she's now officially married to "her girlfriend of less than a year, Alexandra Hedison"! Congratulations to Jodie Foster. Not only is she now legally bound to someone she loves, she is able to enjoy a privilege forged by a movement she actively disassociated herself from for years and without any seeming gratitude. It is not clear whether her bestie Mel Gibson was the ring bearer during her ceremony but dare to dream, you know? [Page Six]
Oh, this is truly terrible. Eric Hill, a handsome, overachieving adventurer and suitor on the upcoming season of ABC's arranged marriage carnivàle The Bachelorette, has died of head injuries following a paragliding accident in Utah. Ever so careful about doling out spoilers as ratings potential is far more important that basic human concern, ABC has not confirmed whether or not Hill had been dismissed from the show at the time of his accident (and by extension whether or not he was being filmed during the accident), but it's widely believed that he will be prominently featured in the upcoming season as the titular Bachelorette's "first one-on-one date." Anyway, no, it does not appear that ABC will be scrapping the season or perhaps canceling the entire franchise or even shutting itself down and ejecting all remnants of the network into the deep recesses space, but stay tuned for any developments on that front. [Page Six, Us Weekly]
Late period Baywatch was perhaps most notable for its desperate attempts to replace a departed Pamela Anderson by becoming a revolving door for interchangeable, busty, big-haired Bratz dolls with painted-on red swimsuits. One of those attempts was Traci Bingham, a woman perhaps best known for claiming to have been Harvard educated despite merely being community-college-adjacent-to-Harvard educated. Anyway, Page Six has a tragic update on how she's doing these days:
Traci Bingham looked a little worse for wear as police escorted her out of Fenway Park last Friday... [She] allegedly had trouble paying the bill after she and five spirited friends enjoyed drinks and shots at an exclusive club in the stadium while the Red Sox were losing. "Three attempts to run her card were declined... her sister and other members of the crew scattered, leaving through different exits." Bingham pleaded, “Don’t you know who I am? Do you have daughters? Can I get a discount?”
Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis went and made themselves a baby:
Ladies and gentlemen, Otis Alexander Sudeikis has LEFT the building! (I'm the building) pic.twitter.com/uHfY3adroc— olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) April 23, 2014
If you've ever been the kind of person who harbors pervasive fears about the rise of a superior species of human, then the progeny of Olivia Wilde's looks and Jason Sudeikis' comedic sensibility should give you pause. This child may be in charge of us all someday; may his tyranny be a gentle one.
This is just a photo of James Franco hanging out with Pretty Little Liars' Keegan Allen in bed shirtless, no big deal:
This is just a photo of Julia Louis-Dreyfus making love to a clown, no big deal:
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