Today in celebrity gossip: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez went camping in Chris Brown's RV, a Chinese thief stole Lindsay Lohan's nude selfie collection, and Beyoncé interrupted a fan's karaoke performance of a Beyoncé song.
It sounds like the setup for a horror film, but in reality there were no movie cameras involved so it's probably just a run-of-the-mill nightmare: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez went camping in Chris Brown's luxury RV! Obviously a close friendship between Justin Bieber and Chris Brown in which one would lend the other his luxury RV just sort of feels right, you know? Like even if you didn't know the two were buds, part of you always kind of did know that. (But what on Earth kind of journey are you ON, Selena Gomez?) Anyway, TMZ reports that Bieber and Gomez (along with some bodyguards and Bieber's dad, of course) parked Chris Brown's luxury RV on some KOA Kampgrounds near Santa Cruz, CA, where they "camped" by jumping on a trampoline and riding around on Segways. The eerie coda to this frightening tale? Local campers later "found pieces of Segways" strewn about. It's not clear if Selena Gomez is alive and well or if she's currently running through old-growth redwoods dressed in tattered, stained rags and shrieking for help that will never arrive. Oh well, at least she's not touring Australia. [TMZ]
In a now-deleted Tweet from earlier this week Lindsay Lohan lodged the most polite robbery complaint in history: "It was great to be in China and I want to thank everyone for their hospitality, however someone has stolen my computer at the airport." Though she didn't elaborate on the laptop's contents, TMZ now has: "We've learned she had a bunch of nude photos of herself," allegedly from various photo shoots, including one with Terry Richardson (as though his work is somehow classier than a regular ol' nude selfie). In addition to Lohan's trove of lurid Lohan-based erotica, the laptop also allegedly contained "private correspondence" between Lohan and her famous friends "including Woody Allen and Lady Gaga." Quick question: WHAT kinds of things do Lindsay Lohan and Woody Allen talk about? My guess is they just send animated .gifs from American Horror Story: Coven to one another, but who knows. Anyway, yeah, if you know what happened to Lindsay Lohan's filled-to-the-brim-with-nude-pics laptop, please contact her as she's offering a reward in the amount of "whatever it takes." I'm looking at you, Carmen Sandiego. [Page Six, TMZ]
Do you like to smile? No? Then back away from the computer and internet because we need to talk about something Beyoncé did to a couple of fans in Miami on Tuesday night and it's going to make you smile. Apparently around midnight Beyoncé, Kelly Rowland, and someone named "Jay Z" (?) entered the Sing Sing Karaoke Bar in Miami Beach, heard the Beyoncé song "Party" blasting from a nearby karaoke room and decided to crash the performance. According to Miami New Times, Beyoncé and her longtime personal assistant Kelly Rowland barged into the private karaoke room and began dancing with the two girls and then photobombed a third girl who was passed out cold on a nearby bench. (The security camera image of this incident at the link is especially hilarious.) Among the things that makes Beyoncé amazing (aside from her music, personality, brain, and face), is that she has a long history of pulling stunts like these for fans. (I watch that last video so much and it makes me happy every time). Don't you like to think that if you were mega-famous you'd do stuff like that also? You totally would, cause you're a good person. Beyoncé is just being reasonable, to be honest. [Page Six]
They've been spotted on ski vacations, in NYC gay bars, and now in the most romantic place of all: Rite Aid. One Direction's Harry Styles is currently in Beverly Hills hanging out with rumored girlfriend and confirmed Kardashian Kendall Jenner and has even been spotted — gasp! — driving her car! But before you jump to conclusions about Styles' and Jenner's relationship, please keep in mind what this eyewitness told E!: "They looked like they were together, but they could just be friends." Guys, let's be real, there are only two options here: Harry Styles and Kendall Jenner are either exploring each others' bodies or one of them is gay and they're just besties who choose to benefit from the publicity generated by their hangouts. There is no other reason why Kendall Jenner would be letting Styles drive her car. That is an intimate stage of friendship if there ever was one! She gave him full access to her radio presets and phone charger? No way are they "just friends," sorry. Oh, and by the way, that Rite Aid visit? Nobody walked out with any bags. So whatever they purchased would have been pocket-sized. Use your imaginations! No, seriously, you'll have to use your imaginations because nobody knows if they bought anything. Anyway, you're welcome, One Direction management. We've discussed Harry Styles' bodacious love life today. [E! Online]
The people demanded ANSWERS. Why on earth would Busy Philipps name her child, the fruit of her loins, the heir to her legacy, her precious, precious daughter "Cricket"? Why, Busy Philipps? Not only why would you but also how dare you? Well, now Busy Philipps has finally acquiesced to the peoples' inquiries by issuing an official statement on the subject of Cricket-gate. As she explained to People, Philipps and her husband, screenwriter Marc Silverstein, declined to name their child right away and dragged their feet for an entire week until "I got a call from [the hospital] and they said, ‘You have to come back and name your baby.'" At which point Silverstein suggested "Cricket Pearl," describing a hypothetical future for the girl in which "'Everyone likes Cricket, Cricket is just the greatest, happiest kid on the block, the coolest camp counselor, she’s hot in college.'" There you have it. Cricket will be hot in college. There is your reason, America. Are you quite satisfied? [People]
Normally whatever meat-pillar currently sitting at the fore of The Bachelor franchise doesn't merit much attention outside of a Life & Style spread, but this new season has introduced one Juan Pablo Galavis and he is the only thing moms and secretaries of the world can think about anymore. And for good reason. He is handsome! He's a single dad! He sings sings One Direction songs in his car and posts them to Instagram! Resistance is futile:
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