For the second year in a row, rich person coffee table tome Town and Country has decided to concoct a list of the "Top 50 Bachelors" in the universe. Out of all the single men in the world, these are the ones who were deemed most desirable. And who wouldn't want to be a part of that select group? We took a look at the list and spotted some surefire ways to be considered one of the sexiest bachelors in the universe. So here's our guide for any guy who wants (c'mon now, who doesn?) in on that list:
Have Awesome Parents
Forget being a self-made man, what you need to get on this list are awesome parents — royals, artists, editors, politicians movie stars, musicians, movie stars who procreated with musicians — the cooler your parents are, the more desirable you are. If you look at the short dossiers of each the 50 bachelors, 26 of them state who's son they are within the first couple of lines. There's an Eastwood, a Spielberg, a few royals, some Wenners, a Schwarzenegger, a Robinson, a Kennedy or three (more on that later), and possibly a Sinatra.
Tip: Ride those coattails. Bonus points if both your parents are famous.
Examples: Scott Eastwood; Theo Spielberg; Gus and Theo Wenner; Ronan Farrow; Alex Drexler.
Be a Kennedy
It doesn't matter if you're a little weird-looking or still in high school — if you're a Kennedy, you're on the list.
Tip: Post your exploits to Instagram and/or date Taylor Swift.
Examples: Robert F. Kennedy III; Conor Kennedy; Jack Schlossberg; Patrick Schwarzenegger.
Have a Brother
Double trouble! T&C loves the idea of bachelor duo — more chances to marry into the family, of course. Brother bachelors are most revered for being independently wealthy and enjoying things like "tennis" and "skiing."
Tip: Make sure you nail your signature brother pose for the photos.
Examples: Nick and Jon Paul Pérez; Gus and Theo Wenner; Liam and Sam Fayed.
Other than being a Kennedy, there's nothing T&C likes more than a man who's back on the market after a divorce. There also seems to be a correlation between how beautiful the woman in the failed relationship is and how desirable the bachelor is.
Tip: Make sure your breakup hits Page Six.
Examples: Spike Jonze; Justin Portman; Jeff Bewkes; Russell Brand.
Be a Child
For some inexplicable reason (Axe body spray?), being under 20 years old makes you a highly eligible bachelor. If you still know your high school locker combination (because you use it every day), you have a great chance of making the list.
Tip: Again, dating Taylor Swift really helps. Also nice to be a freshman football player at Notre Dame.
Examples: Corey Robinson (18); Conor Kennedy (19); Alain-Fabien Delon (19); Ansel Elgort (19); Prince George Alexander Louis (infant).
Be a Royal
Of the 50 bachelors on the list, seven are European royalty. Even if your "prince" title is irrelevant, because you live in Germany where a monarchy no longer exists, that's fine. For T&C, it's enough to know that you would have been royal.
Tip: Avoid inbreeding!
Examples: Prince Harry; Lord Edward Spencer-Churchill; Prince Albert von Thurn und Taxis, Prince Pierre Casiraghi, Prince Hussain Aga Khan, Earl Hugh Grosvenor, Prince George Alexander Louis (yes, the infant boy king of England) .
Go to a Good School
"I went to the University of ..." said no one on this list. If you want to make it on this list, it might actually be better to drop out of high school than go to UCLA or Berkeley if you can't get into Harvard, Stanford, Princeton, or Oxford.
Tip: Don't go to a state school.
Examples: Jeff Bewkes; Carter Cleveland; Ivan Pun.
There are barely any minorities on this list. If you want to be the sexiest bachelor it pays to be Caucasian or be of European descent. There is only one Southeast Asian bachelor on the list (Ivan Pun) and only three black bachelors (one of whom is Steven Spielberg's adopted son).
Examples: The whole list.
Be Somebody the Third
What's the easiest way to signify to T&C that you come from a long line of once-eligible bachelors? Slap a III or a IV on the end of your name.
Tip: If you could be called a "tycoon" or a "magnate," all the better.
Examples: Stavros Niarchos III; Robert F. Kennedy III.
Own a Startup
Lest you think T&C is not "hip" or "in touch with the modern world," the mag has included a number of Silicon Valley bros who are good at making apps. One of the guys started his company "in his dorm room at Princeton."
Tip: Be friends with Peter Thiel.
Examples: Carter Cleveland; Jack Dorsey; Joe Lonsdale; Evan Spiegel.
Fellas, it's clear that being the sexiest bachelor in T&C's eyes isn't impossible (same things goes for Esquire's sexiest woman alive, People's sexiest man alive and whatnot). It's just close to it. If this is really a list you'd like to be on or think you should be on then, well, godspeed and good luck.
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.
We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to email@example.com.