The Denver Broncos secured a big win over divisional rival Kansas City on Sunday, but all anyone can talk about today is running back Knowshon Moreno's seemingly superhuman tear ducts. CBS Sports cameras captured Moreno having an emotional moment on the sideline, leading to a flood of .GIF and YouTube videos, as well as the question that's burning the Internet at the moment: "Why are that dude's tears so big?"
Here's the crying (in GIF format) that inspired that question:
And one more shot, this time of both eyes:
Despite this seeming violation of the laws of nature, Moreno says his tears are real. He told reporters after the game that he was overcome with emotion during the national anthem and the magnitude of the occasion. But that still doesn't explain how how or why this huge stream of tears is possible or what would happen if he ever saw Beaches or Fried Green Tomatoes. That's where the Internet comes in with rivaling theories.
Moreno Is Obviously Faking It...
Contact lens solution? It's got to be contact lens solution, right?
Moreno Is Obviously Not Human...
Therefore human rules and whatever we thought about the human act of lacrimation do not apply to him. Obviously, normal homo sapiens cannot carry multiple Kansas City Chiefs on their back and get first downs the way he did on Sunday. Since Moreno can do superhuman things carrying a football, the rules don't apply to him.
Moreno Has Not Cried Since He Was Born...
That's the only way to explain all those tears. He's been saving them up.
Moreno Actually Had His Eyes Closed, and Because of Physiology, Stimulation, and...
Ok, so here's the most legit-sounding theory which comes to us by way of Reddit. And ophthalmology technician there noted that a lot of factors play into someone's tear output. The redditor also suggests that Moreno possibly had his eyes closed and a larger than normal amount of tears welled up and then spilled forth when Moreno opened them:
In this case, the physiology of Knowshon's closed eyelids/eyelashes, as well as that of his puncta/nasolacrimal duct allowed a sudden and robust secretion of tears to build up, spilling out in spectacular fashion once he'd finally opened his eyes. It's possible that the elasticity of his eyelid tissue is such that tears are able to pool within them in unusually high volume, but it's more likely that his eyes were slightly open, and his long eyelashes worked with his tears' natural surface tension to allow a "bulge" of lacrima to be held in suspension before the gap between his eyelids was great enough for gravity to take over.
Again, there's so little to work with here that we may never know the truth until Moreno ophthalmologist speaks out. Nevertheless, Moreno's tears are glorious and for that we are thankful.
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.