We've already heard all about Justin Bieber's troubled visit to Brazil. First he was caught leaving a brothel of some ill-repute, and then he walked off stage and didn't return after someone threw a bottle at him during a concert. But that was not the last indignity he would suffer in this lawless nightmare country. He invited some girls over to the crib he was staying in, just to chill and eat some chicken nuggets, and even though his security detail took their phones and made them sign confidentiality agreements, one of these young ladies still managed to take a video of him sleeping. There he is, the boy king, snuggled up in his bed, sleepin' like an angel. And this Brazilian she-devil, she videotaped it. With her telephone. And then put it on these Internets for all to see! Can you believe that? What sort of creature does that? Of course the entire weird world is grateful that she did, because how else would we know what this curious Canadian oddity looks like when he's lost in dreamland, but it is still a strange thing to do. And mean. It's probably a mean thing to do too. But, she did it. And there it is. A young god at rest, not even sure what country he's in, probably. And now we've all seen it. What a strange time we live in. [Page Six]
Meanwhile, back in the United States, Bieber has decided to simplify his life. You remember his friend Lil Twist, right? That's the young fellow who was living in Bieber's Calabasas mansion for a time, and was always getting pulled over for speeding in Justin's fancy cars and whatnot. He was also known to have loud parties while Biebs was away. So he wasn't a great roommate, is the point. The two have fallen out, Twist was asked to leave the house, and then they started fighting over the term "Wild Kidz." See, ugh, that's what they called their crew, the Wild Kidz. At the height of the Wild Kidz era, so like September I guess, Bieber's people filed the papers to trademark the phrase with the intent to start a clothing line. (All young men are starting clothing lines these days. Ask your teen son why he isn't starting a clothing line.) But when Biebs and Twist started beefing, so like in October, Twist went and tried to trademark W.I.L.D. Kidz, for his own line of clothing, I guess. Anyway, there was a little bit of a fight over that but Bieber has decided to drop the issue and let Twist have the Wild Kidz. Take the Kidz, Twist. You can have them. Justin doesn't want them anymore. Go create your clothing line and live your own life. Justin Bieber and Lil Twist are no longer intertwined, they are living separate lives now. Twist must go drive someone else's Lamborghinis. Maybe he should try to join up with Jaden Smith's MSFTS crew. They have a clothing line. And probably some nice cars. And it would be perfect, because Jaden Smith is legally too young to drive them! There's your next move, Twist. Go for it. [TMZ]
Oh dear. Sharon Osbourne and the rest of the cast of CBS's hideous The View ripoff The Talk went on The Arsenio Hall Show, Arsenio Hall's hideous ripoff of The Arsenio Hall Show, and Sharon said some naughty things about the ladies of The View. Hall asked Osbourne and company to explain how they are different from that show and Osbourne said, "This is the situation. The situation is Barbara -- idolize her. Divine. She's superhuman. I love Barbara Walters. The rest can go f--k themselves." You hear that, Sherri Shepherd? Go f--k yourself, courtesy of Sharon Osbourne. What's going on, Jenny McCarthy? Nothing? Oh well then maybe go f--k yourself. Love, Sharon Osbourne. Barbara, you're cool, but Whoopi? Old Whooprah Goldberg there in your high and mighty EGOT chair? Please take a moment to kindly go and firmly f--k yourself, sincerely Sharon Osbourne. Whoa. She put those ladies on blast. There is going to be a straight-up rumble if she's not careful. Wouldn't that be great? It really would. Go f--k yourselves, ladies. Each and every one of you. [Us Weekly]
There was apparently some shady business at the big ol' Country Music Awards last night. The wonderful Kacey Musgraves, a talented young singer/songwriter who was nominated for a bunch of stuff last night, made some less than pleasant faces when her rival for Best Female Vocalist, Miranda Lambert, won the trophy instead of her. There was some frowning or something. She made faces that read "not happy" to whomever wrote this piece of nonsense up. Look, I'm an awards clips person, I will spend hours skipping down the rabbit hole that is Oscar speeches on YouTube. So I know a good unhappy loser's reaction when I see one. And sheesh, it isn't always the ladies who react badly. And yet that's all we hear about! I'm sure Jason Aldean made some weird face when Blake Shelton won last night instead of him. Or maybe Keith Urban threw his sippy cup on the ground and Nicole Kidman had to go pick it up and escort him out. But we never hear about that! It's always "Oh that woman frowned so they must be having a cat fight." So silly. Not a novel or new complaint, I realize, but still. There it is, plain as the dumb day. But yes, Kacey Musgraves should have won, so she was right to be upset and should never speak to Miranda Lambert again. That's just reasonable. [Us Weekly]
Irradiated barn swallow Taylor Swift says she is super excited to perform in front of Prince William and all his fancy friends at the Winter Whites charity gala later this month. She told the BBC that she's been freakin' out, and that she doesn't want to be too presumptuous and assume that she's going to meet William. Maybe she won't! Maybe she'll just play her set, get off the stage, get in her car, and be whisked away somewhere. But it's possible that she will meet some royals, and that has her, y'know, s--tting bricks. But she'll be fine! She's got nothing to worry about. All she needs to say is "A pleasure to meet you, your highness," and do a simple curtsey in which she bends at the waist and lowers herself completely to the ground so that her torso is parallel to the floor, her nose almost touching the carpet. She only has to hold that pose for five minutes or until the Prince leaves the room, after which she may slowly return to a standing position and await judgment of the curtsey from Sir Barnaby, the royal etiquette adviser. If she passes she can consider herself to have met Prince William, if she fails, if the curtsey was crooked or undignified in some other manner, then she will be beheaded in Trafalgar Square for all of merry old London to watch. No presh, Tay! [People]
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.
We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to firstname.lastname@example.org.