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After the release of Morrissey's autobiography last week, people couldn't stop talking about how the legendary singer dated men and could possibly be gay. Over the weekend, he cleared that up and dashed the dreams of billions by saying that he isn't gay, straight or bisexual — he's just super picky.

 "Unfortunately, I am not homosexual. In technical fact, I am humasexual. I am attracted to humans. But, of course ... not many," Moz said in a statement to his semi-official fansite True to You. Some might argue that the singer, who said he only has seven friends, only likes five bands, hates people who eat meat, hates politicians, and isn't that fond of girls or people, is more of a misanthrope, a misanthropic bisexual, or a really picky pansexual, than a "humasexual", but hey, tomato-tomahto. 

The reason Morrissey is inventing a new label for a kind of sexuality that already may have one, is that a number of people were really interested in the part of his autobiography where he stated that his first love and first real relationship was with a man named Jake Owen Walters. "For the first time in my life the eternal 'I' becomes 'we', as, finally, I can get on with someone," Morrissey wrote in his autobiography. 

Seeing the need for clarity, we went with Morrissey's cues and came up with a few more signs that you are a humasexual like Morrissey: 

  • You have an autobiography to sell and like the attention.
  • You want to be like Morrissey.
  • You want to be like Morrissey and sell an autobiography. 
  • You are not Richard Gere.
  • You are Morrissey.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.

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