Happy Halloween boils and ghouls! Today is the day when children dress up in costumes and collect candy tax from their neighbors, but it is also the day when adults on morning news shows put on elaborate costumes cooked up for them by their shows' otherwise bored-to-tears wardrobe departments. It's a fun tradition, done will silliness and good-humor. And this year was no exception. Kathie Lee and Hoda were Wilma and Betty from The Flintstones. Lara Spencer swooped in as Miley "Wrecking Ball" Cyrus. And Matt Lauer dazzled as Pamela Anderson in Baywatch. Which— Wait, really? Yes, Matt Lauer put on a blonde wig, some fake boobs, and a skintight red swimsuit and paraded around as Pamela Anderson in the 1990s lifeguarding drama Baywatch. He was joined by Willie Geist as the David Hasselhoff character, and Carmen Electra, an actual former Baywatch cast member. Those two looked normal, but Lauer looked... Well, look at the GIFs. Just look at them. Be mesmerized by them. They are infinite and forever, on a loop, on and on and on until we are but dust and memory and then nothing at all. Only Matt Lauer as Pamela Anderson remaining, jiggling away, the last thing remembered of Earth. Happy Halloween! [GIFs by Today and Veronica de Souza]
Want to see more morning TV stars in silly costumes? Here is a slideshow of this year's offerings. On The Talk they dressed up as characters from Peter Pan, and naturally Sara Gilbert was Peter and Julie Chen was Tinkerbell. Because of course Julie Chen gets to be Tinkerbell. She's kind of the boss of the show, isn't she? Julie Chen is really the reason they're all there, so of course they let her dress up as Tinkerbell while Sheryl Underwood had to dress up as dumb old Smee and Aisha Tyler stood there in a boring dress as Wendy. Man, Julie Chen gets to have all the fun. Elsewhere, Ellen DeGeneres dressed up as Nicki Minaj, with fake boobs and everything. Those are fake boobs, right? I think they're fake plastic boobs, as part of the costume. Because I don't think Ellen DeGeneres would show that much of her real boobs, nor do I think she has quite that much real boob to show? But who knows. That's just a guess. What do I know about Ellen DeGeneres's boobs? Nothing, that's what. [Too Fab]
Oh dear. Inspired, perhaps, by One Direction, Rihanna has gotten a horrible new tattoo. Or maybe not inspired, but challenged. Both Rihanna and One Direction have been getting lots of bad tattoos over the past year or two, as if in some sort of competition, and it's possible that RiRi has just won. She got an elaborate inking all over her right hand, from wrist to knuckle. The look is henna-inspired, but mostly it looks like she's some bored left-handed kid who started doodling on her hand in class. Except she can't wash it off before fifth period lunch. The only way to get this one off involves lasers. Painful lasers. What were you thinking Rihanna? That chest tattoo was bad enough, but at least you could cover that one up if need be. This is your hand! Everyone sees your hand, unless you're wearing a glove all the time and then you're a weirdo who wears a glove all the time. Do you want to be that weirdo? I don't think you do. To the lasers, I say. [Us Weekly]
Justin Bieber bought his dad and two half-siblings a house in Ontario so the kids can grow up well. It's a five-bedroom rustic-looking place that cost Bieber some $850,000 to purchase. It says Bieber right on the mailbox, so everyone knows whose house it is. The house is out in the middle of nowhere, though, so it's not like people are going to go seeking it out. Well, no, that's not true. Some die hard Beliebers are probably already on their way there, racing across the Canadian wilderness, mad with desire to connect with anyone who knows their beloved, dying to touch any small part of their boy king hero. So, watch out, Bieber family! They are coming. [TMZ]
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have finally settled their divorce, some two years after splitting up. They were fighting over money, but it seems they've reached an agreement. He gets to keep his dumb websites that he's invested in, while she gets a portion of his Popchips fortune. She gets Rumer and Tallulah, he gets Scout. You know, compromises. Glad they worked it out. [Page Six]
Kim Kardashian was on The Tonight Show last night, and told Jay Leno that she was really hurt by all the people calling her fat during her pregnancy. That's why she posted that post-baby Instagram photo of her looking all curvaceous and sexy. "This is my big, like, middle finger to the world on everyone that called me fat," she said. She was utterly shocked by how much criticism she got while pregnant, and it made her think. "Why would I subject myself to so much negativity, especially now that I have a daughter? … I've definitely tried to live more of a private life because of that." Aha. I see. "I've definitely tried to live more of a private life," Kim Kardashian says on The Tonight Show while talking about an Instagram selfie. Makes complete sense to me. Make sense to you? Good. We can be done then. [People]
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.