We've been living in the post-apocalyptic America of Obamacare for a week now, and America's main concern with government healthcare is the slow, glitchy site. Because Americans only like to wait sometimes. "Let's get one thing straight about this country. We will camp out all night to be the first people to buy a phone or see a movie about shirtless werewolves," Jon Stewart said. "But you've got ten minutes to get me this fucking healthcare."
Of course the President and his team had three years to perfect the technical end of the site, the portal to his signature piece of legislation. Otherwise, as Stewart put it, "that would be like if Lincoln didn't bother proofreading the Emancipation Proclamation and ended up freeing the Daves."
Well, the web side of Obamacare is a mess. Meanwhile the Republican party is willing to put the nation in default by not raising the debt ceiling. To represent those two side, Stewart pitted Obamacare's "Team Incompetence" (represented by Samantha Bee) against the Republicans' "Team Nihilism" (represented by Jason Jones). Team Incompetence's healthcare solution consisted of asking you to hold, because of an "unusually heavy volume of questions at this time." Essentially, this:
Team Nihilism's plan was "Fuck it." And yes, that is a two-step plan, Jones explained: "Step one: fuck. Step two: it." Jones said.
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.