Thanks to the shutdown Democrats have a slightly better chance of turning the country a little bluer, if the party could just solve one small website-sized problem. "This country looks like it is poised to turn bluer than a smurf's balls after humping a bottle of Windex," Jon Stewart said. "All that stands in their way is a mildly competent implementation of the health care policy they battled so hard to keep." If the last few weeks have taught us anything, it's that competent implementation is easier said that done.
Just how bad is the site? Stewart sent John Oliver to log onto the site, and it turned out he'd been sucked into it (think the original Tron with Jeff Bridges, not Tron: Legacy). "So there are still a few glitches?" Stewart asked. "Glitches? Look at me Jon! I didn't get a 404 File Unfound screen, I got sucked into the mainframe," Oliver shouted back. And the inside of the website looks just as bad as you'd imagine. Instead of zeros and ones floating around there are fours and fives. "It's fours and fives here, Jon," Oliver said. "I don't know which subcontractor fucked that up. This is elemental coding."
And, in case you were wondering, Oliver still doesn't have health insurance. "But, like the president says, the product is good," Oliver said. "There's just a small risk applicants might get sucked into a Tron-like cyber bureaucratic nightmare with no escape." There's also a risk you'll be attacked by Pac Men. Not sure the help desk can help with that.
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.