Do you remember last month when actress Famke Janssen found a terrifying children's book in her bedroom, left there by persons or forces unknown? It was a very scary story, this coming home to find an eerie book about a doll in her bedroom, and we all wondered what could have happened. Security tapes showed no signs of a break-in, so it was a complete mystery. Well now the police are saying that Janssen owned the book all along. See, they found some to-do lists or something tucked into The Lonely Doll (that is what the book is called! Shrieeeeeek!!), so they figure that between that fact and there being no one on the security tapes, Janssen must have already owned the book. So, case closed. Except, um, not at all closed??? According to The New York Post, "Janssen is not expected to be charged with filing a false report because she honestly believes that someone broke into her apartment and planted the book." Which... Um. If Famke Janssen still doesn't think the book is hers, but the police think it is hers, what the heck is going on?? Is the NYPD gaslighting Famke Janssen? Is Famke Janssen buying children's books and then forgetting she bought them? Famke Janssen doesn't have any children as far as I'm aware. So why would she be buying children's books and then tucking lists into them and then forgetting about them? I mean, you all see what is happening here, don't you? It's exactly what we've all long suspected. It's ghosts. It's straight-up ghosts. Janssen needs to wrap all her mattresses in plastic and put her clothes in bags and then run screaming into the street because holy hell ghosts are leaving frightening children's books in her bedroom and now even the police don't believe her. This Post story is written as if everything is solved now, i's dotted and t's crossed, but to me this only poses more questions. So many more questions. Supernatural questions. Questions from the beyond. Famke, this is terrifying. You need to move. And maybe come to terms with something that happened back in your childhood in The Netherlands. Whatever ghostly story it is. Because it has followed you. And it is not going to stop. [The New York Post]
Are Andy Cohen and hockey star Sean Avery on the hook up? ("On the hook up" is a thing I'm trying today, if you don't like it please downvote and leave your suggestions in the comments.) Lots of people think they are smooshing because they're always hanging out and Andy posts pictures like this of the two of them shirtless and close on some blasted beach somewhere. It's a long-running rumor, and now it's gotten to the point that people are saying they're engaged to be married, husband and husband, the fashion-conscious hockey star and the host of a cable access program that he films in his basement. The rumors have become so widespread that TMZ finally decided to get to the bottom (or the top? The vers? Get to the vers?) of the matter and ask Andy: "Is you two...?" And, I'm sorry to all you Sandy shippers out there, but Andy said no. Sean Avery is a straight person and the two of them are just friends. "Can't a gay guy and a straight guy be friends?" Andy asked, fairly. But then he said that he'd be happy if the two of them were "banging," but they're not. So Andy, are you friends or do you want to squish? The TMZ idiots were correct in finding that a bit suspect. What do you think, readers? Does America's gay uncle have a real friend in Sean Avery, or is it just someone he wants to boink? It's an important question, so really think on it. [TMZ]
Kelly Osbourne is suing her old landlord because he refused to give her security deposit back when she moved out, despite never having inspected the apartment. He's just trying to keep it, because landlords are jerks. But Kelly isn't taking it, in fact she's taking him to court. Good for her! Stand up to those crooked landlords. And get your $2,000 back. Hm? What's that? Her security deposit was actually $18,700? Good grief. Does that mean her rent was $18,700 a month? Because yowsers. Yowsers and then some more yowsers. Fashion Police must pay well. [The Wrap]
Here's a melancholy little story about Robin Lively, older sister of actress Blake Lively, doing some sort of choreographed dance from her 24-year-old movie Teen Witch at her sister's wedding to Ryan Reynolds. That wedding was like a year ago, but we're just hearing about this now. Robin Lively did the Teen Witch dance at her sister's wedding. Just thought you should know that. [Us Weekly]
Don't want to break any hearts here, but Kate Winslet was never going to change her name to Kate Rocknroll, even though her new husband's name is Ned Rocknroll. Yeah, she says "I've never changed my name to anything, so I didn't see a reason to start now." Fair enough! Modern woman, I can dig it. But also, c'mon, Kate, fess up. You might have considered it if you'd married Ned Jones or Ned Clark. Maybe. A brief second of consideration. But Rocknroll? I am sure she fretted over that for weeks, if not months. That is a really tough decision. Do you stay Kate Winslet or become Kate Rocknroll and immediately start living inside the The Who's Tommy? It's a personal decision for every woman, and she's finally made it. She's said no to the fantasy, and stuck with boring old reality. Oh well, at least her kid's last name will be Rocknroll. At least there's that. [People]
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.