Stephanie Smith, the woman who became Internet famous on Wednesday after she revealed she was making 300 fancy sandwiches to get an engagement ring (yes, this happened), is upset that no one laughed when she described her romantic situation as a transactional, sandwich-based relationship. Smith is upset that no one thought that a beautiful woman with a career in journalism saying how great it is to exchange food-preparation for marriage was funny. Perhaps it's something to do with the generations of women who were forced into those roles and the years they spent fighting against it. Or maybe, you know, she kinda made her future husband sound like a jerk.
"The blog started as a lighthearted joke between boyfriend and girlfriend. I presented it to the world because I thought at least one person would find the humor in the idea of sandwiches for an engagement ring," Smith writes in the New York Post on Thursday. "This project is not about me promoting myself as some gourmet chef, nor a desperate plot to win Eric’s love — or a movie deal or Internet fame," she adds.
If Smith had admitted her Post article about happily becoming her husband's lunch lady was an attempt to snag a book deal, get movie producers interested, or to get more traffic to her blog, people might have been alright with that — people fully respect what people do to get book deals these days.
But her project has some defenders, too.
"The reason feminists hate you is because your gorgeous and happy. It's science," a commenter on Smith's article wrote today. Another added, "Pay no attention to feminists. They have done nothing to promote healthy relationships between the sexes in over 50 years." And The Atlantic's Garance Franke Ruta's chimed in on the Internet furor yesterday, tweeting out that she saw nothing wrong with Smith's sandwich-making: "I don't get 300 sandwiches outcry. Are there no women left who cook? ~1,095 meals a yr. & she's taking care of 1/3 in sandwiches. So what."
"I met a guy. I made a sandwich. I started a blog. And I enraged feminists everywhere," Smith writes, glossing over the tiny part where she wrote an article on Tuesday that drew attention to her transactional-sounding relationship. That is where she enraged "feminists" from all corners of the world:
Each morning, he would ask, "Honey, how long you have been awake?"
"About 15 minutes," I’d reply.
"You’ve been up for 15 minutes and you haven’t made me a sandwich?"
To him, sandwiches are like kisses or hugs. Or sex. "Sandwiches are love," he says. "Especially when you make them. You can’t get a sandwich with love from the deli."
Asking someone to make you a sandwich in the morning, every morning, in that fashion makes that person, regardless of their gender, a jerk. And it's fully possible we didn't get the joke of someone being that bossy and irritating early in the morning, but Smith didn't do us any favors. Maybe Smith is a morning person? Or maybe: "You've been up for 15 minutes and you haven't made me a sandwich?" is Smith and her boyfriend's code for "Gosh, you look really great this morning. How about I'll make you a sandwich. Are you Hungry?" Or any possible clue that her boyfriend didn't treat her like a woman who's just there to provide sandwiches and sex.
Photo by: Warner Brothers; Sandwiches by: margouillat photo via Shutterstock, New York Post
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.