Mariah Carey — singer, songwriter, Precious's social worker — was filming a music video for the remix of her song "#Beautiful" (yes, the hashtag is part of the title) in New York yesterday when she had some sort of accident and dislocated her shoulder. Reports seem to indicate that she was walking or dancing in heels and took a spill. So she was rushed to the hospital in a private car and spent the night and was then released. So she's fine. Her arm didn't fall off or anything. The director of the video was Carey's husband, childgroom Nick Cannon, so there might be some fighting about that — "How could you let me fall? You're the director, direct me carefully!" stuff like that — but otherwise everything's OK. But dear god, one thing I worry about: What if she fell on her good side? That would be a real calamity. So let's hope and pray that that isn't what happened. Mariah Carey is going to be fine, guys. Just fine. She always is. Except for all those times. Besides all those times when Mariah Carey wasn't fine, she's always fine. [Page Six]
George Clooney, an old man who lives in Italy, has split up with his woman-friend of two years, Stacy Keibler. Yeah. The pair had been a red carpet fixture, always appearing in Armani together, she tall and statuesque, he old and hobbled over, but now it's over. Apparently the split was mutual, the result of lots of discussions about the future. A source of some kind (it was Clooney doing an old Italian lady voice on the phone, for some reason wearing a kerchief even though he's on the phone and no one can see his costume) told Us Weekly, "Stacy knew George was not the man to settle down with." Which, well, yeah. I mean, all records would seem to indicate that George is not the one to settle down with for anyone. Dude doesn't settle down! So get out while you can, Keibs. Go find a guy who isn't so pathologically committed to staying the dashing bachelor all his life. Maybe switch your name back to its proper spelling, move home to Hauppauge, and marry an elf like your parents want you to. It's probably the best way. Forget that old man rattling around his Italian castle. Go home. Go to the elves. Be one with who you are. Goodbye! [Us Weekly]
Here is a grand and riveting story about how Cameron Diaz walked into a supermarket, asked for a particular kind of bread, got "frustrated" when the supermarket employee did not know the bread she was asking for, and then left without buying anything. She was at the IGA in Amagansett looking for "sprouted bread." Do you know what sprouted bread is? It is this. It's supposedly better for you than non-sprouted bread. Shockingly the squeaky-voiced teen working at the Amagansett IGA for the summer while he saves up money to buy his cousin Randy's 2003 Isuzu Rodeo did not know what sprouted bread was. And so Cameron Diaz apparently got frustrated and left. Honestly what would you do or say if you were some teen home from SUNY New Paltz for the summer and Cameron Diaz walked up to you and said "sprouted bread"? I'd probably quit and run away and see if anyone was still in New Paltz for the summer and had a couch I could crash on. There is nothing worse in this world than disappointing a celebrity. And Tyler the stock boy did just that. For shame, Tyler. For shame. May Randy never sell. May New Paltz be empty. May the rest of this storied Amagansett summer unfold like a long, boring nightmare. And may none of your bread, ever, be sprouted. [Page Six]
Action baldie Jason Statham is planning to propose, while bald, to his girlfriend, model/actress/possessor of hair Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Yeah, they've been dating for two years apparently! Statham, 45/without hair, would like to marry Huntington Whiteley, 26/full-tressed, if some sort of random source is to be believed. And they should be believed. Vague and anonymous celebrity sources should always, always be trusted. Known hairless jujitsu guy or whatever he does Jason Statham is going to propose to richly be-maned Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Because someone said so. And someone is all we need. In closing, Jason Statham is bald. [Us Weekly]
Big Brother host Julie Chen told paparazzi, or at least a paparazzo, that she is unhappy with all the racist/homophobic garbage the garbage people on her garbage show are spewing out lately. It's been a big issue, all this Big Brother garbage, but should anyone really be surprised? Has that show ever not been a pile of garbage monsters? I don't understand the surprise. Anyway, Julie Chen says it's bad, because it is bad, and that's the point of this video that I'm linking to. But the funny thing about it to me is that Les Moonves is there the whole time just sorta grinning awkwardly. Les Moonves, CEO of all CBS, richest guy many people know, is in the background of a TMZ paparazzi video while his wife answers questions about the literal flaming trash heap she hosts on his network. Weird life. Weeeeird life. Don't you think? I think it's weird. [TMZ]
Kate Hudson and Goldie Hawn played tennis at a charity event together and you should look at the photos. Really. Look at them. And keep looking and looking and looking until you get to the photo of Jeremy Piven doing a split and then, I dunno, look some more. Just look at them. Look. [Daily Mail]
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