Because all of our young men are getting tattoos these days — and not just tattoos, huge tattoos, arm-covering tattoos, snaking sleeves that cover their forearms in the dark ink of future regret — Justin Bieber has gotten another one. He's got a bunch already, but they were not enough. And the one he decided to get on Tuesday is a real doozy. It's a big eye. And not just any eye. It's his mom's eye. I mean, supposedly. I guess he showed a photograph of his mom to the tattoo guy and said "I want this lady's eye" and the tattoo guy thought OK. He wants an eye. Just do an eye, Brucie. Just do an eye. And then Brucie did an eye. The tattoo, which Biebs got at a parlor in New York City, is huge and sits right above the word "Believe," just like his album title, written in jaunty letters. Sigh. You know what's a good way to honor your mother? NOT getting a huge tattoo of her eyeball on your arm. Like, I'm sure she would appreciate it much, much more if you told your mom, "So I was going to get an enormous tattoo of your eye on my arm, but then I decided against it." I'm sure she'd hug you close and say "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you." Because oof. Oof, I say. Anyway, after he got inked up, Biebs went out to some clubs — but did not drink alcohol, according to one of the establishments that, c'mon, probably served him alcohol — and then went back to his hotel room with two young women, neither of whom were Selena Gomez. Eyugh, can you imagine being one of the two girls invited back to Justin Bieber's hotel room? I can't think you would feel terribly good when you left. I bet there's a long train or cab ride home feeling some sharp pangs of "What did I just do" when you've just spent the night in Justin Bieber's hotel room. At least they don't have a tattoo to commemorate the occasion. [Page Six]
The scrum of photographers outside St. Mary's hospital, where Royal Baby is set to be born any minute now, has gotten intense. They've been camped out there since July 11, Royal Baby's official due date, and their bosses have banned them from going to dinner or drinking or doing anything besides pointing their cameras at the hospital doors and waiting. And Kate's not even there yet! To top it all off, the weather in London has been hot hot hot, topping out at around 89 degrees. Which... Ha, srsly London? Our high tomorrow is 98. 89 would be a blissful, balmy day. Stop yer belly-achin'. Anyway, the photographers are ready, the hospital is ready, the whole of the world is ready, so where is this baby?? The Queen is going to have summon some of Merlin's magic to make this thing happen. [Us Weekly]
Speaking of babies, Charlie Sheen is a grampa. Yes. Did you know that Charlie Sheen has a 28-year-old daughter? I did not, but he does. And she's just had a baby. And that baby's grampa is Charlie Sheen. TMZ calls him "the coolest grandfather-warlock on the planet," which... I know they're being a little facetious there, but still. Charlie Sheen is an abusive drug addict. So he's not that cool of a grampa. As far as grampas go. I mean, Tom Hanks is two kids' grampa. Mick Jagger is a grampa four times over. Charlie Sheen is way down the list of famous and/or cool grampas, is the point. But he is one. Charlie Sheen is, now, a grampa. [TMZ]
Kristen Stewart had a beer. Stop the world. Pause the stars. Tell the quasars to stop their lonely pulsing. Kristen Stewart was on set filming her Guantanamo Bay movie (that's a thing that's happening) and when they'd wrapped for the day she sat down on the boat they were filming on and had a damn beer. Kiki Stew had a brew, changing everything we knew. [Page Six]
Look, two men did things to their hair. Bradley Cooper got a short, short haircut that he, inadvertently because someone was covertly taking snaps, showed off when he took off his motorscooter helmet in Los Angeles. It's very short! I wonder what Gerard thinks. And then there's Harry Styles, he of the very ruled unruly mane, who has had his hair slicked back and straightened up for a music video. He looks quite different! I don't think he's had his hair cut, they wouldn't mess with the moneymaker like that, but it is styled in such a way that it's a completely different look. What must the teens be saying? What must Gerard Butler be saying?? [Daily Mail; Daily Mail]
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.
We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to email@example.com.