A semi-regular Girls cast member has abruptly left the show. Christopher Abbott, who played Marnie's on-again/off-again/then so totally on-again boyfriend Charlie, has quit the series, apparently because he and creator/star/writer/director/trapeze choreographer Lena Dunham just did not get along. A Page Six source says that Abbott "didn't like the direction things are going in," which makes me really curious about what the third season is going to be like. Oh, yeah, they'd started work on the third season already, so this could prove really difficult to navigate? I mean, in terms of having to change Marnie's entire storyline potentially? Who knows! The true tragedy that people seem to be mourning today is, as Page Six so delicately puts it: "Cutest boy leaving Girls." That's what everyone's primarily upset about. Which... that's awfully mean to Adam Driver and, y'know, the other one, isn't it?? I get where people are coming from, but let's not objectify these young men. That's not fair. We would never do that with an actress. Hm? What's that? Oh we absolutely would? Right, OK, well, carry on then. [Page Six]
So this is awkward, but could you spare a few bucks for Lena Headey? The Game of Thrones actress is apparently almost completely broke, according to a legal document obtained by TMZ. She's in divorce proceedings with her husband and he's trying to get half of a $46,000 tax return from 2011, but Headey has now filed papers saying she needs at least $6,000 of that right now because she's broke as a m.f.'ing joke and is living off of credit cards to keep her and her son afloat. The actual quote is "less than $5 in her bank account." Yikes! Yowsers! Yipperoos! How the hell does that happen? Do you know how much money you have to make in a year to get a $46,000 tax return? Neither do I, but by my meager made-up math, comparing that figure to what I usually get in tax returns, it's like $3,000,000. So how the hell do you spend all that in two years? Plus all the money she's made before and since? It does't add up. Unless... Does anyone know if Lena Headey has a crippling addiction to priceless works of art or, like, Faberge eggs? You know, like Bleeding Gums Murphy? I can't think of any other explanation. Lena, get your mess together! You're on Game of Thrones for heaven's sake! Unless... Is it possible she's pulling some shifty maneuver to hide assets from the husband? I suppose that could be what's happening, but it seems risky. Sadly I think it's more likely that Lena Headey can't stop encrusting things in Swarovski crystals. She's tried to stop, but she can't. Everything in her house is covered in them. It's terrible. It's a living nightmare, every day. God save the queen. [TMZ]
Jimmy Fallon fired his manager of roughly ten years, Eric Kranzler, just before he signed the deal to take over The Tonight Show. Kranzler and Fallon were apparently good friends, too, and Kranzler was "shocked" by the axing. (Though he "saw it coming." Can you be shocked by something you see coming? I guess you can, sure. You see a tornado far off on the plain, it's still shocking when it ruins your house.) Some kinda source tells Page Six that "Eric felt Jimmy got really greedy." Which is interesting. You know, good juicy stories about how fame and riches corrupt are always interesting. I know people are pretty married to this idea of Jimmy Fallon as a nice guy, but what if he's not?? Wouldn't that be fascinating. I mean, you do have to be at least a little megalomaniacal to want to host your own show, don't you? I think all those late night guys are pretty crazy in their own ways. And Fallon is part of that club. So here we have the first rumblings of something. Remember this day, folks. When we first began to realize that something was amiss. [Page Six]
Ha. There was a fire at the Couples Therapy house and everyone had to leave. Haha. All the "couples" who are in "therapy" had to haul ass outta there in nothing but their satin underwear briefs and clear high-heels. Let's hope for their sake, and ours, that they never went back. That they just let the house burn and burn, returning it to the nether dimension it came from. When the Couples Therapy house catches fire, I think we can reasonably take that as a sign from some sort of power, higher or lower. Something doesn't want that show to happen. And we should listen to it. [TMZ]
Hey, look, One Direction's Irish rogue Niall Horan got his braces off. Yeah, he'd had braces since 2011, the weird clear kind that make people's teeth look chunky, but now they're off. The tweet he sent out yesterday about getting them off got 143,000 retweets. Man. When I got my braces off I had to walk home from the T by myself. That was all that happened. I didn't even get a ride. Niall gets 143,000 retweets and every saddo gossip writer in the English-speaking world, and probably elsewhere too, gushes away about it. Ah well. This is good news if you have a crush on Niall but felt really ooky about having a crush on a boy who was still in braces. Now you can just feel ooky about the rest of the things that are wrong with having a crush on Niall Horan. [Daily Mail]
Here are some dramatic photos of Heidi Klum rescuing her son and nanny from the cruel Pacific ocean in Hawaii this past weekend. Look at the ones with the nanny! Heidi is straight-up hauling that confused-looking lady out of the water. Heidi Klum is some sort of Teutonic god! [Us Weekly]
Magic Johnson is a nice dad. [TMZ]
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.
We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to firstname.lastname@example.org.