After two days of ridiculous short teasers, we finally got two full trailers for The Wolverine movie today. And now that these things are actually longer than a few seconds each, can we please move past the Inception rip-offs already? Because this blockmuster's marketing is especially egregious. At first glance, the new Wolverine movie is about a man fighting to regain something he lost long ago with the help of a Japanese benefactor, complete with pulsing wub-wub backtrack. The parallels to Christopher Nolan's now infamous Inception trailers (both of them) are not subtle with Marvel's latest. Instead of gravity-defying fight scenes in hotel hallways, we get gravity defying fight scenes on the side of a bullet train.
OK, enough about other movies, and more about what's happening in these here Wolverine trailers. Hugh Jackman's Logan gets into a bar fight and is about to tear some poor saps into tiny little pieces of trucker meat when a lady with a strange haircut stops him. Her boss has been looking for Logan; he wants to thank him for saving his life in what looks like one of the nuclear strikes on Japan during World War II. The evil boss offers Logan the chance to become mortal so he could finally, after all these years of travelling the earth drinking beer and fightin', die already. Logan doesn't seem to like the idea very much? "What they did to me, what I am, cannot be undone," he tells baddy boss. "Don't be so sure," the bad guy tells him.
So it seems like Logan declines the offer, but then loses his healing power anyway because some guys try to kill him and nearly succeed. We see Logan in some gnarly metal restraints and he yells, "NOOOO!" Some fight scenes happen: Logan takes on a small village full of ninjas, a huge samurai mech-robot, and there's a blonde lady in green who is clearly crazy and evil in equal measure.
Logan gets mad, fight scenes happen, and this Japanese man who wants to operate on Logan's crazy metal body doesn't exactly seem like the most trust worthy guy. That's the gist of it all, really. And what more do you want from these things anyway?
Oh, there's a sensual-looking hazy flashback scene with Famke Jansen's Jean Gray in there, too. So, that's a cool enough thing if she's not off destroying the world as Dark Phoenix yet, which was where we last saw her at the end of the X-Men 3: All the Things Happened.
Watch the two new trailers below. One's domestic and the other is international, just like beer, which is either a coincidence or the best character driven marketing ever:
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.