Today in show business news: Sarah Silverman might be in Seth MacFarlane's new movie, the new season of American Horror Story will feature witches, and Nick Jonas is going to be a movie star.
Comedienne and actress (see her in Take This Waltz; she is definitely an actress) Sarah Silverman is in talks to jump aboard Seth MacFarlane's Wild West train A Million Ways to Die. MacFarlane's second film, in which he will actually physically play the lead, is a Western comedy about a guy (MacFarlane) who publicly wusses out and loses his girl (Amanda Seyfried) because of it, and then meets a sexy new stranger woman (Charlize Theron) who teaches him how to be tough. Then Liam Neeson comes to town because Charlize Theron is his girl, so they have to fight each other. Amidst all this feminist theorizing, Sarah Silverman would play a prostitute. A prostitute who hilariously doesn't put out for her husband (Giovanni Ribisi) because she's a Christian and thinks they should wait until marriage. So... Yeah. Look, Sarah Silverman is great and smart and funny and everything, so I'm sure she'll be brilliant in this, but here's hoping a sexy new stranger woman rides into town and teaches Seth MacFarlane how to write things about women sometime soon, yeah? [The Hollywood Reporter]
Television creator/destroyer Ryan Murphy revealed at a PaleyFest event (as far as I can tell, PaleyFest is happening 24 hours a day, 365 days a year) this weekend that the next season of American Horror Story will be called American Horror Story: Coven, meaning we're dealing with witches, bitches. So we'll likely get to see Jessica Lange, Taisa Farmiga, Sarah Paulson, Kathy Bates, Lily Rabe, and others doing wicked black magicks. Plus Evan Peters as Thackery Binx, a handsome boy turned into a mangy feline by the cruel crones. Until a young virgin named Max (also played by Evan Peters) saves the day. Sigh. Let's just watch Hocus Pocus. We don't really need another American Horror Story do we? After that muck of a second season? I don't know. Hocus Pocus is so good. Let's just think about Hocus Pocus for a while. [Vulture]
Huh. Nick Jonas, the youngest Jonas brother and arguably the biggest heartthrob of the group (I mean, Joe has his fans and Kevin has... that wife person, but I think Nick is the most widely beloved), has just been cast as the lead in a feature film. He will star in the indie thriller Careful What You Wish For. In the film he'll play a young buck who "starts having an affair with Lena (Isabel Lucas), the young wife of an investment banker renting the lake house next door for the summer. The husband’s suspicious death reveals a substantial life insurance policy and everyone is a suspect." Uh ohhh! Thrillah chillah with some sexy stuff. I mean, that's what "having an affair" means, right? It's not having an affair if it's just hugging and kissing and saying nice things into each other's eyes. "Having an affair" means boy parts and girl parts commingling while this song plays. So: oOOoOooOoOooo. Baby Jonas is all grown up! (Bonus Jonas is not grown up. He is only 12.) Now he's doing sexy thrillers and everything. Time moves forward, I suppose. Meanwhile, Kevin Jonas is staring sullenly out the window, the new gardener trimming the hedges, and thinking about switching the title of his reality show Married to Jonas to Careful What You Wish For. [Deadline]
Ken Watanabe has joined the cast of the new Godzilla movie, because it's just not a Godzilla movie without at least one Japanese person. (I mean, it used to be that Godzilla movies were all Japanese people, made as responses to the nuclear horrors of WWII, but whatever.) Watanabe joins a seriously strange cast, which also includes Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Elizabeth Olsen, Juliette Binoche (yup), David Strathairn (sure), and Bryan Cranston (why not). Principal photography started on the movie today, so Watanabe has been brought in at the last minute. The film is being directed by Gareth Edwards, who made the interesting indie monster picture Monsters, so there's a chance this could actually be good. I mean, that's an eclectic cast for sure, but they're all talented and likable, so that's something. Plus the script is partly written by Frank Darabont and this cute guy, so that can't hurt. I dunno. I'm oddly looking forward to this. It can't be worse than the one with Matthew Broderick and poor Maria Pitillo, can it? I don't think anything could be worse than that. [The Hollywood Reporter]
Here is a preview of the new season of MTV's oddly charming teen sitcom Awkward., which is returning on April 16. I missed the last half of the second season (was probably too busy crying at old Degrassi episodes or going to therapy) so imagine my surprise at some of these changes! The annoying friend is dating the guy's blond friend! Matty and Awkward are back together! Not Jenna Elfman is still employed! So many crazy things must have happened. Gotta catch up, I guess. Or, I dunno, just start watching the third season because how much could I really have missed? I mean, it's Awkward. We're not talking about Top of the Lake here. (Which premieres tonight, btw!) See you in April, all you yelling teens.
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