Comedian turned professional Hasselbeck-wrangler Joy Behar announced last night that, after sixteen longgg years, she is quitting the daytime talk show The View to pursue other projects. Yes, like Rosie or Debbie before her — well, actually, no, they got fired, so like Meredith before her, Joy is choosing to walk away from Barbara and the gang, because almost two decades of doing that mess is about almost two decades too many. Behar says she'd like to get back to stand-up and that she's written a play, and maybe she'll host her own talk show somewhere. (Yeah, she's got that thing on Current, but that does not count, and Al Jazeera's taking that over anyway.) Really, though, I suspect she's just going to be watching this on repeat, wondering where the years went. That's what I'd be doing if I was Joy Behar, anyway. [Deadline]
Maybe Joy could go on vacation with some girlfriends, just like Cameron, Drew, and Reese. It seems that the actresses Diaz, Barrymore, and Witherspoon have taken to Mexico together, enjoying the beaches of Tulum and probably drinking some margaritas on the sly. Witherspoon and Barrymore have both given birth in the last year, so they were enjoying some free time away from the screaming babies, while Diaz was just like, "Whatever, I don't know, Justin's married to some girl now, so I'm free." Meanwhile Lucy Liu saw the photos on Instagram and wondered why she wasn't invited. Then she looked up from her phone and gazed out at the set of Elementary and remembered why. [Us Weekly]
So there's this kid named Lil Twist, he makes music of a sort, and he is friends with one Justinius Drewus Bieberus, the biggest kid star there is today. While Bieber is away risking his precious life to give English girls the shivers, Lil Twist is driving around Los Angeles in Justin's car. And crashing it. Yes, TMZ is telling us that Lil Twist crashed Justin's Fisker automobile — that's an expensive kind of electric car that sort of looks like a shiny prophylactic — into some poles outside a liquor store. Oh, for heaven's sake, Lil Twist. What's worse is that he LEFT THE CAR THERE. Yes, a BMW zoomed up shortly after the incident, someone said "Get all the pieces from the car [that fell] and put it in the car," and they drove off. Oh, and get this! A source tells TMZ that one of the BMW passengers was Chris Brown!! Hahaha, what is this, It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World?? And the hits don't stop coming: This is the third time Lil Twist has had an incident with one of Bieber's cars. He bottomed out a Ferrari in a parking lot a little while back, and then got pulled over while driving one of Justin's cars. That was the traffic incident where a photographer was killed while taking photos of the pull-over. That's not Lil Twist's fault of course, but good grief, Justin Bieber! I think it's maybe time you told your friend Lil Twist that he is not allowed to drive your cars. Or like give him the '03 Accord or something. There's gotta be a junker lying around. Let him drive the old Mercury Topaz and keep the expensive cars locked up. Because this Lil Twist? I'm just not sure he's a very good driver. For heaven's sake. [TMZ]
Duchess Kate of Cambridge, future Queen of England and ruler of the Elvish Realm (I mean, I'm assuming; if anyone's going to rule the elves it's going to be the British, right?), was spotted in London recently shopping for maternity clothes. Yes, because Katherine is with child; growing in her womb right now is a future King or Queen of New Britain, the colony on the remote and cold Faroe Islands that the survivors of old Britain will be forced to found after all the floods and wars come. The kid is being born into an uncertain future, is what I'm saying. Anyway, Kate was at a department store looking at maternity dresses, one of which was modestly priced at about $55. Seriously! That's all. Of course most of Kate's clothing is woven by mystical druids on top of Ben Nevis and is therefore priceless, but sometimes she can buy a $55 dress and the world doesn't spin off its axis. Good for her. She really is one of the people. [People]
Demi Moore is asking for alimony in her divorce from Ashton Kutcher, even though she most definitely won't get it. Apparently she has more money than him! Look at her, saving that Striptease paycheck while Ashton blew all his camera money on jOBS. But she's asking for alimony anyway because it's some sort of power play that might get her a better settlement in the end. After all, he's the one who filed for divorce, so he's gonna have to pay. And really didn't they kind of make their money together, as a power couple, while they were married? Like, they made each other more famous together and thus everyone is owed monies earned. So give Demi some of that Valentine's Day/New Year's Eve money, Kutch. She's earned it. [TMZ]
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