A few years back it seemed that Hollywood's two most important people, director Michael Bay and actress Megan Fox, were bound to hate each other forever. Though Fox owed her fame to being cast in Bay's first two Transformers movies, the star and her director were not on good terms. See, he fired her after the second movie, supposedly because she had been saying bad things about him and the movies in the press. Though, of course, there was also the rumor that he fired her because she wouldn't sleep with him, behavior that wouldn't seem exactly out of step for a guy who casts those movies a little hornily. (Frances McDormand especially.) Anyway, they're fine now, it seems. After all that. So you needn't worry. Last night Bay announced on his website that Fox has been cast in his upcoming live action/computer animated hybrid movie Ninja Turtles. Yeah. She'll be playing April O'Neil. So... now you have a whole new thing to be upset about! It's unclear how or why the two made up, but we're glad they did. Having two titans of talent like Michael Bay and Megan Fox on bad terms meant bad things for everyone. [Us Weekly]
Speaking of public Hollywood feuds, it's now Ethan Hawke vs. the Oscars. Yes, like Joaquin Phoenix before him, the two-time nominee has publicly criticized the importance of Hollywood's most deeply important night. Hawke not only called out the actual Oscars, but some people who have won them too, saying "if you look at how many forgettable, stupid movies have won Oscars and how many mediocre performers have Oscars above their fireplace. Making a priority of chasing these fake carrots and money and dubious accolades, I think it’s really destructive." Uh ohhh! Who do we think he's talking about?? I mean, clearly Mira. Obviously Cuba. Maybe even Sandra? It could be a lot of people! Who does Ethan Hawke take seriously and who does he think is a joke? Because he clearly thinks that some people are jokes. Anyway, silly as the Oscars may ultimately be, I don't really see them as having hindered a movie from getting the recognition it deserves. Like, normal people don't actually care that much about the Oscars! He's talking from an insider's perspective like it's everyone's problem. It's not, really. The Oscars are just a fun thing to watch and talk about and then we forget all about them the next day until a few months before the next time. That's all, Ethan. No need to get upset. [Page Six]
Diane Lane and Josh Brolin are splitting up, the couple announced yesterday. They've been married for eight years and lived through a mysterious incident where police were called to their house for some sort of disturbance, but now they can't make it work anymore. They don't have any kids together, so at least no one else is getting hurt in the process. Though, I'd like to imagine that this affects Brolin's stepmom Barbra Streisand somehow. I mean, I know that Babs spends most of her time sleeping in an upright crystal coffin, lightly humming to herself as she dreams of herself, but surely in one of her rare sentient moments someone will tell her and she'll be upset? I just like that Diane Lane's stepmother-in-law was Barbra Streisand. I mean, can you imagine? "And what do you do darling?" "Um, I'm an Oscar-nominated actress?" "I seeeeeee!!!!" and then she sings until every dish and cup and plate in the house is vibrating. Seems like a lot of work. Anyway, sorry to hear about the split. They seemed actually kinda good together. [Us Weekly]
So Prince Harry, high lord of British sex, is officially back dating this British model named Cressida Bonas (who used to date this dude) and it's a big deal. For one thing, he's the third in line to the throne and who he dates matters. Two, because he just hasn't met us yet and when he does he'll forget all about this young chippie. And three because her name is Cressida Bonas. What, is Tercel Extra not single at the moment? Camry Gratis isn't around? Haha, Cressida Bonas. Great name. Anyway, we don't actually know that much about Bonas, but luckily People magazine does. They have a list of five things you need to know about her, although they're actually not that helpful. Like, it's great to know that other people in her family have silly names, but who is her family? And I'm happy to hear that she likes "hippy-style" clothes (although I think they mean "hippie-style," unless she likes clothes that make her hips look big), but where's the real dirt? Did she know Harry's ex Chelsy Davy when they were at Leeds together? If she's from aristocracy, how likely is it that she and Harry are distantly related? Not so distantly? Those are important questions that are not answered here. I mean, when you say "5 Thing About Harry's New Squeeze" they'd better be five good and meaningful things, and I'm afraid these aren't. [People]
Apparently Mel Gibson has been running around Miami making out with people. Yeah, he was spotted kissing at least one lady while he cavorted around a nightclub while hanging out with a Saudi prince. So I guess he's still getting out and about. You'd think he'd be living in some sort of remote monastery right now, figuring things out, but no, he's just in Miami. That's all. He wasn't drinking, so that's good, but he did apparently hit on a girl by pulling out his phone and googling pictures of himself, which... Maverick would never do that, Mel. Maverick was too smooth for that. Braveheart would never do that! C'mon, Mel. Be like Braveheart. I mean, don't kill any British people if you can help it, but otherwise be like Braveheart. Or at least like the man without a face. At least be like him. [Page Six]
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