Today in celebrity gossip news: It seems that the world's favorite young couple really is kaput, Kim and Kanye buy an elaborate new house, and Justin Bieber's weed history is explored.
Yesterday we heard a darkest whisper, a rumor from the Caribbean, that young stars Taylor Swift and Harry Styles, she a former country teen turned burgeoning pop lady and he a boy bander who will look back on these glorious years bitterly when he is 35 and living in Essex, had broken up. After a whirlwind romance of kissing backstage at shows and going to the Central Park Zoo together, it was said that the two got in a rather large fight while vacationing in the British Virgin Islands and that Swift flew home in anger, leaving Harry to go party it up on Richard Branson's ominous island, where I'm told you can hunt that most dangerous game if you ask the right way. This was a one-source rumor yesterday, but now it appears more concrete. Harry and Taylor really are no more, a love as fleeting and lovely as a sunset. Who will Taylor Swift date next? She's had a good run of it lately with shaggy-haired 18-year-olds, so maybe she will find another one of those? Or perhaps it's on to a new thing. Brooding 50-year-old counts who live in dark and drafty Bohemian castles. Rugged explorers in their 70s who have lots of whale bones in their seaside captain's houses. Romeo Beckham. Really could be anyone! We wish her luck and can't wait to see what she decides. Styles, on the other hand, is maybe facing a tougher road. He's not got much going for him, and few women seem interested, so he might be in for a spell of unintentional monasticism. Sorry, boy-o. Stay strong. There's always Louis to turn to on cold, lonely nights, if it comes to that. Sigh. The end of something, huh? Always sad. [People]
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, two humans who dwell proudly in this world, are a couple with a baby on the way. So that means that they need a place to live, a crib to house a crib. They've chosen an $11 million property in Bel Air, which they're in the process of gutting and renovating. When done the place will be a gargantuan 14,000 square-feet and will feature a gymnasium, indoor and outdoor pools, a basketball court, a bowling alley (like some sort of weird, reclusive 1920s millionaire), a movie theater, and "full hair and makeup salon." That last one is funny/confusing. "Full hair and makeup salon" implies, to me, that it will be fully staffed? That there will be swishy men named Joseph who sigh a lot and talk about the '80s with a pinched wistfulness while they primp their middle-aged clients' hair, and colorists named Darla with troubled husbands at home, and old magazines and three-years-out-of-date light Euro house grooves playing overhead. I really hope they mean "full hair and makeup salon," because the idea of this whole cast of characters, this entire small economy, existing in Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's house is a wonderful one. Do it, you two! You already have a crazy existence, what's there to lose in making it just that little extra bit crazier? [TMZ]
As news of Justin Bieber's terrible, illicit drug smoking ripples throughout the world like a rueful tsunami, word comes that the incident was maybe not his first weed infraction. Or at least that he has been suspected of smoking grass before. It seems that while Bieber was staying at the Carlyle Hotel in New York in the lead-up to his performance at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, some guests complained that there was a strong and particular smoke smell coming from the rooms believed (or, Beliebed) to be occupied by Bieber and his entourage. A Bieber source says that it was actually "another star's" room and that Bieber's camp totally jokes about it now, but that sounds suspicious. "Another star's." Awfully convenient, this other star. What star was it, hm? Willie Nelson? Snoopy Doggy and his dogs? Bill Maher and his army of Daily Kos-commenting hookers? Who, Bieber source? Just who was making this weed smell if Bieber wasn't? All is suspicious now! If we've seen Bieber smoke one blunt, he's smoked a million. A billion! Is Bieber more blunt than boy at this point?? Inquiring minds must know. Tell us your secrets, old Carlyle smoke. Where did you come from? [Page Six]
One grim, real-life note: A second autopsy has confirmed that singer Amy Winehouse did indeed die of accidental overdose, which I suppose is not a surprise to anyone, but there it is nonetheless. [Twitter]
Back to stupidity. If you're curious about how Heidi and Spencer Pratt are doing on Celebrity Big Brother over in the U.K., a show they joined last week or so, then here is your update: They are not doing well! Is that surprising? It should not be surprising. Everyone in the house hates them but obviously that was the whole point so basically the terrible Speidi monster is doing the job it was hired to do. They've not been voted off yet, though they received all the votes from their fellow contestants to go live in a basement or something? I really do not understand how this show works so I won't even try to explain it, but just know that everyone else in the house voted against them or nominated them for... something. But they're not off the show yet? I don't think they're off the show yet. Julie Chen has not yet come by the house and put a gas pellet in their bedroom while they sleep. That will likely come soon, but it has not happened yet. So, that's something that's going on in Great Britain right now. All across the world, different things are happening — weddings in Sweden, funerals in Taipei, friendships blossoming in Durban — but in mighty England, Heidi and Spencer sit in a basement, plotting. It's both comforting and unsettling to know. [Daily Mail]
Buzz Aldrin is getting divorced, and one of the things that his ex-wife gets in the split? A "1988 Mercedes with the license plate 'MOONGAL.'" Which... Wowwwwwwww. Moongal. MOONGAL. Is there nothing funnier or sadder than the 1988 Mercedes with the MOONGAL license plate that Buzz Aldrin's wife gets to keep in her divorce? MOONGAL. Some old car, once fancy, now just MOONGAL. Because Buzz Aldrin went to the moon. Terrific. In the article there's also a photo of Aldrin wearing a T-shirt of a man on the moon that says "Finders Keepers" on it. Aha. It'd be weird to have what you did one day in July 43 years ago define the rest of your life, but there it is. MOONGAL. Look, I'm sorry that these people are divorcing, that the ex-wife calls Aldrin's new lady a "predator," but this MOONGAL business — the old '88 Mercedes rusting in the driveway there — it is just the best thing. Really the best thing. [Page Six]
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