A new full-length trailer for Sam Raimi's upcoming Wizard of Oz prequel Oz: The Great and Powerful has been released and peee-uuuu does this thing look not good. Sorry to poop on the parade, but this basically looks like a latter days Tim Burton movie without Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. Same garish computer effects, same annoying anachronistic/sarcastic joke asides "for the grownups," same obnoxious blockbuster-focused restructuring of something old and good. Maybe it will actually be wonderful in its entirety, but so far the marketing campaign is not doing the best of jobs communicating that. Maybe that's just me though. Maybe you love the idea of the Wizard of Oz, played by James Franco, snarkily saying "Take five, guys," and then a bunch of computer magic happening, but I do not. Nay, I say! Nay. Nay forever to this glittery piece of junk.
So there is soon going to be an adaptation of the young adult series Divergent, the dopey books where people in futuristic Chicago are divided into five groups based on their personalities — Amity for peaceful people, Candor for honest people, Erudite for intelligent people (shouldn't that be Erudition since the rest aren't adjectives?), Dauntless for brave people (Dauntlessness?), and Abnegation (ugh) for selfless people — that really exist so the author can impress children with some words she knows. It's all deeply silly stuff and will probably make lots of money at the ol' box office. Anyway, they have Shailene Woodley for the girl lead,
Katniss Tris, and now they're trying to cast her love interest, Four. They're doing chemistry tests right now for a buncha young hunks, among them The Hannah Montana Movie's Lucas Till, Monte Carlo actor Luke Bracey, Irish actor Jack Reynor (who will not get the part), and someone named Brenton Thwaites. Which... No. I'm sorry. I don't care if he's a dreamy Australian surfer or whatever, but we are NOT having someone named "Brenton Thwaites" become famous. We already have a "Kellan Lutz" for christ's sake. Brenton Thwaites is too much. It's just too much. Anyone but Thwaites, Divergent. What about Connor Paolo? Haha, just kidding. What about Brenton Thwaites? Wait, no! Just cast Xavier Samuel, who should be cast in everything, and call it a day g'bye. [Deadline]
Speaking of hunks, hunky and also quite good actor Tom Hardy has signed on to star in a movie adaptation of the Tom Clancy video game Splinter Cell, which... Oh, Tom. Not a video game movie. You're better than that! And you're already a star, you were in Batman for god's sake. You don't need a video game movie. No one needs a video game movie. I know the money is probably bizzonkers but come on. Who really needs money. Who really. Not you. You're rich enough, probably. What about all that This Means War dough? Is that really all gone already? Come on. Watch some other video game movies and then rethink this, because they are basically never good. Just ask Bob Hoskins. Go on. Ask him. [The Hollywood Reporter]
Evan Rachel Wood has signed on to star in 10 Things I Hate About Life, which is from the people who did the wonderful teen film 10 Things I Hate About You, but is not a sequel. In fact it's about two young folks who meet while trying to commit suicide and then, y'know, fall in lurve. Sweet lurve? Yes, sweet lurve. So that could be interesting. It's hard to think of Evan Rachel Wood as a peppy perky romantic comedienne, but then again this is about suicide, so maybe that's OK. We're glad these people are making another movie, we just hope they can live up to the hype. And maybe they should get Joseph Gordon-Levitt back to have another conversation about his "spank bank." Because, uh, people could, um, use that. [Deadline]
Ahhhhhhh. Here is the first teaser poster for season three of HBO's fantasy show Game of Thrones and it doesn't show anything but stillll. The third season, guys. The third book. Or half of it at least. If you haven't read the third book you have NO idea how crazy things get. So crazy. Game change forever crazy. Just so much craziness. You're excited. You might not even know it, but you're excited. Trust me. When's March? Is it March yet? [Entertainment Weekly]
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.