Today in celebrity gossip news: Are Bieber and Gomez getting back together? Is Taylor Swift fooling around with another 18-year-old? And does Kristen Stewart still feel guilty?
It's like teenagers (and twenty-year-olds) can't make up their minds or something. After a much-publicized breakup just last week, it seems that sing-cherub Justin Bieber and future Harmony Korine victim Selena Gomez have reunited. TMZ spotted them entering the Four Seasons Beverly Hills together yesterday, and this was after Justin picked Selena up at LAX and, supposedly spent the night at Selena's house. OooOOoOooOOOo. What could it mean?? Could it mean they'll now be together forever and ever amen and that's all there is to say about it? Will there be a windswept wedding in Big Sur? Is Selena dying of Bieberfever? Could it mean that young couples don't know what they want half the time and sometimes it feels good to breakup but then it's too hard so screw it let's get back together even though it's not a good idea? Probably one of those. Anyway, we're pretty much all creeps for paying even the slightest bit of attention to what two small children are doing with their hearts and other parts. Unless your own kid is involved or no one can see you from behind the bushes so really who's getting hurt, we should not be paying attention to such childish and private things. Until the next big news breaks obvs!! [TMZ]
Speaking of young love, is country starling Taylor Swift eating cheeseburgers with One Direction moptop Harry Styles? So says The X Factor's twitter account. Swift performed on the show last night and Styles was apparently there to give support and hang out, and some of that hanging out involved eating cheeseburgers together. So, whoa. Taylor Swift fans and One Direction fans clashing like Bella and the Wolfpack vs. the Volturi? That is a battle we must and need to see. Though, will a battle be necessary? Might both camps embrace this YA musical romance? It's possible. Not likely in any fashion — a teen fan's heart is a fickle, jealous being — but I suppose slightly within in the realm of possibility. But really how the fans react is beside the point. The main point is: Taytay, whatchoo doin'? Another 18-year-old? Have you learned nothing of the rougher sex in your 22 years? An 18-year-old boy is like a 15-year-old girl, maturity wise. You should be looking to date boys either your own age or maybe like two years older. Bigger age differences on either side can work, obviously, but it's rarer. Like, an 18-year-old boy's underpants probably aren't in good shape, ya know? That's the level we're talking about. Isn't there some nice Vanderbilt master's student she could date? Or even just an undergraduate senior? Do any of the myriad adults she probably spends most of her time with have a son? It could be that Harry and Taylor aren't dating, but reports (ha, "reports," like we're talking about Gaza or something, sigh) that during Taylor's rehearsal Harry "went up on stage laughing and joking around with her. He then picked her up, threw her over his shoulder and carried her off," seem to suggest that there is some Defcon 5-level embarrassing young person-type flirting ("Any excuse to touch you! Hahah!") going on here. And if that's the case, we would urge Taylor to stop right now. She's a young woman. He, but a boy. [Examiner]
The headline: "Exclusive: Kristen Stewart 'Still Feels Guilty' About Cheating on Robert Pattinson" Really??? Exclusive: 23-year-old still feels bad about doing shit-y thing to boyfriend of several years a couple months ago. Amazing. Then "a confidant" says "He's never going to forget what she did, but he has forgiven her." And we're never going to let him forget it, by gum. Then a "production insider" says, "She still thinks the world hates her. It's hard to resume a relationship after something like that." Why ever would she think the world hates her? Where could she have gotten such an impression? Hm. Look, two things 1) I know it's a bit rich to be complaining about this coverage while, y'know, still breathlessly covering this coverage day after day after miserable November day, and 2) Maybe they're not even a real couple and this is all bizarrely spun PR gunk. But those two things aside, this whole thing has been a little relentless, hasn't it? Just a little much. Ah well. I suppose if it gets to be too much they can just retire and move to Bora Bora and make frowning babies together and live out the rest of their days warmed by coconut winds and listening to the ocean whisper secrets to them. They have that kind of money. They could do that if they wanted. But they don't have to. They could also move to Paris and live in a beautiful flat in the 6th and hang out with Wes Anderson and have one perfectly sullen Parisian son named Luc who spends most of his time at his girlfriend's house. Could do that. But don't have to. But could. [Us Weekly]
Someone in the mezzanine barfed all over the orchestra section during a performance of the Paul Rudd/Michael Shannon Broadway play Grace the other night, which is pretty gross. The offending theatergoer had apparently had a wee bit too much to drink, which, like, really? Maybe at Mamma Mia, but at a Craig Wright play? Who are this guy's friends that they let that happen? Very unseemly. I used to work for a show called Menopause The Musical in Boston and I'd never seen so many old ladies throw up from drinking before and hope to never again, but that was Menopause The Musical, for heaven's sake. Know your place, drunkies. Anyway, the show miraculously carried on and the puker was removed from the theater and later Patti LuPone crawled into his apartment through the bathtub drain and dragged him down into her dark and terrifying lair for punishment. [Page Six]
Here are some pictures of Jennifer Aniston and her fiance Justin Theroux looking very happy and laughy and in lurve on the red carpet for some sort of gala. So isn't that nice for them. Here are also some pictures of Anne Hathaway and her new husband, Adam Shulman, looking very happy and laughy and in lurve after shopping at a toy store for some reason. Two happy couples, not quite alike in dignity, on this lonely planet, where we lay our scene. [Daily Mail; Daily Mail]
Shirtless CW Stars: A photo gallery. So, there goes your lunch break. And much of human dignity. [Us Weekly]
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