Principled nudist Prince Harry of Wales has met with the head of the British Army and with his father and grandmother to discuss the naked photo scandal that has tarnished Great Britain's sterling reputation as a stuffy and joyless nation full of prudes, and yet the trouble may not be over. No, there are some new rumors burbling up out of the tar pit, ones that hint at something big. Harry was staying at one of Vegas mogul Steve Wynn's properties when this whole shenaniganery went down, and it's being suggested that Wynn comped Harry's $80,000 stay. Las Vegas' famous one-eyed gossip columnist Norm Clarke says that Wynn's camp denies comping the trip, but also says that the hotel is looking into another matter, and that there is still "something pretty gigantic" that hasn't come out about this whole business. Something pretty gigantic? Oh god, what could it be? I really hope Prince Harry didn't murder someone. He didn't murder someone, right? Or, I dunno, get someone pregnant? We couldn't know if someone was pregnant yet. Is the something gigantic just more photos? Is, um, something in the photos gigantic? Is that what it is? Come on, Norm. Use that magic eyepatch of yours and give us the goods! Though, in a way, it's kind of scary to know, isn't it? Maybe it's better to not wade too far into the dark waters of Harry's private life. We really might not like what we find. Still, curiosity abounds. It's not so much the knowledge that concerns us, it's the painful itch of the not knowing, really. [The Las Vegas Review-Journal, via Page Six]
If you heard any strange noises in the atmosphere this weekend, it was not sky hum. It was Snooki of Jersey Shore giving birth to her baby. Yes, one of the Shore rats is now a parent, as Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi gave birth to a baby boy, Lorenzo, this weekend and is now happy at home with the little potato. She says she didn't get much sleep the first night he was there, but she is at least still afforded some time to type away on Twitter. So she is not completely lost to us! The worry when your friends have kids is that they'll never be around anymore and you'll never hear from them, but thankfully technology like Twitter makes it possible for Snooks to quickly communicate with us all on the regular. So that's nice. At press time, Snooki has not yet climbed to the top of Seaside Heights' Pride Rock to present baby Lorenzo to his kingdom, because she was feelin' gassy and didn't feel like f--kin' gettin' in the car or nothin'. Congrats to the new family. [Us Weekly]
Here is a picture of Amanda Bynes' car. Haha, look at that big dent in the front. Because Amanda Bynes is always getting in car wrecks. So many car wrecks for Amanda Bynes. "What do you want fixed?" the mechanic will ask her. "All that," she'll say, aware of the sad reference, too tired to wave it off like a pesky fly. "All that," once more, with a weary sigh. [TMZ]
Angelina Jolie took her big-ass family, Brad and four of the kids, they misplaced Pax and Maddox or something, to tony Le Touquet, a resort town in northern France that's full of fancy hotels and stuff. The family had a meal of pizzapie, as of course northern France is known for its excellent pizza, and then went toy shopping, where Jolie dropped some $215 on dolls and Barbie fashions and stamps and dinosaur toys and probably some kind of something for Brad, maybe a big pair of goofy novelty sunglasses or a Skipper fashion or maybe a little pretend Oscar that he can hold and make believe is his. When they were done with the little town, the family got in their helicopter and flew back to London, like strange angels that had buzzed down from heaven, eaten some pizzapie, and then whirled back up into the clouds to digest and play Barbies. [People]
Apparently celebrity stylist and reality TV star Rachel Zoe is not doing so well. Business-wise, at least. Her big clothing line is not selling well at Bloomingdale's and Nordstrom and the rest, and there are rumors that her Bravo show may soon be canceled. That news is not so bananas. I do not die. What a shame. What is this country coming to when someone who spends her days telling people what to wear and talking about herself can't make an uninterrupted stream of millions of dollars for years and years? What kind of shape is our economy in if that gravy train only runs for a set amount of time? Disgraceful. Embarrassing. Tragic. That's what it is. Nobama 2016! We must all work together to help the Rachel Zoes of this nation. [Page Six]
Post-breakup with Katy Perry, singer/songwriter/lovemaker John Mayer got himself a haircut. Remember he'd been galoompfing around Los Angeles with that long hair for a while, because he was feeling a little loose and philosophical in the wake of his two-year break from the biz? Well, he was, but now it's gone. And he's already showing it off to hotties at the Soho House in West Hollywood and everything. John Mayer is back in business, babies! Next thing you know he'll be recording "Your Body Is a Wonderland 2: Fast & Furious" and we'll all become pure sexual beings once again. He has risen and returned, hallelujah. (Please don't cover "Hallelujah," John Mayer.) [People]
There's a new gossip sheet in town. Today The New York Daily News unveiled Confidential, a roundup of sorts of New Yorky celebrity news. It's run by three people, none of whom have an eyepatch unfortunately, and today they talk about Bradley Cooper at the premiere of a movie in the Hamptons, Emma Stone getting a speeding ticket (in L.A.), and the Clintons strolling down Main Street in East Hampton while shopping at Calypso and Lululemon. So, OK. Fair enough. Welcome, gossips! Gossip some good things for us, won't you? Clinton stuff is good, Emma Stone stuff is good, Bradley Cooper stuff is ehhhh, but please always remember this: Lululemon stuff is forever bad. Bad to the bone, that Lululemon stuff. Steer clear of that in the future. Otherwise, glad to have you. [Confidential]
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