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Blossom star turned regular lady turned Emmy-nominated Big Bang Theory supporting player Mayim Bialik was in a terrible car accident yesterday, one that left a thumb nearly severed. She was driving her Volvo on Hollywood Boulevard when a car full of Chilean tourists ran into her. There was lots of blood and her thumb was hanging off her hand, according to witnesses, but she's since Tweeted (or her husband Tweeted for her) that she's going to be fine: "(husband typing) In pain but will keep all my fingers. If u wanna see pre accident me watch The Soup tonight lol." So there you have it! Blossom will live to thumb another day. Meanwhile Jenna von Oÿ remains in critical condition after seven eight nine and then came after six. (HA HA HA) [People]

Kristen Stewart is apparently pretty p-o'd that Rupert Sanders isn't getting more flack for cheating on his wife and kids, while Kiki gets pilloried in the news media and on the various onlines. Sanders has gotten some criticism for stepping out, but it's Stewart who's getting most of the attention. Which I guess you could say is unfair sexism-wise, because it sort of is — like, there's no male equivalent of a homewrecker because it's always the lady's fault — but, really, in this particular case is it that surprising that Keeks is getting the bulk of the attention? I mean, we have on the one hand one of the biggest movie stars currently working, while on the other there's some old fool named Rupert. Does the media want to focus on the pretty young millionairess or a tired old lump called Rupert? It's unfortunate, but it's understandable. I mean, who do you want to hear about? If you say Rupert, and I'm not talking about Rupert Grint here, then I will only talk about Rupert on this little gossip sheet. But you have to be honest. Kristen or Rupert? Which is it, America? Which is it. [TMZ]

OK, Twitter. You can be quiet now. During the Olympics (RIP), lots of people on Twitter were super upset about gold medal-winning gymnast Gabby Douglas' hair. I don't claim to know a lot about hair, so I won't try to explain what was apparently wrong with her hair, but there was something wrong, and people didn't like it. But now she's gone and changed her hair with a stylist and so maybe people will stop harshing on her 'do. That anyone was doing it in the first place is patently ridiculous, so it shouldn't have happened at all, but maybe now it's been taken care of. And really, come on, if we're going to be criticizing anyone's hair, shouldn't we still be talking about Svetlana Khorkina? Because damn. [Us Weekly]

Actor Ezra Miller (he's the Kevin that we still need to talk about) identified himself as "queer" in Out magazine recently, so of course the New York Post is now saying that he said he was gay. Which he didn't say! But the Post says he did. His being gay isn't the point of his Page Six mention, though. The point is that he was apparently hit by a fire truck? Which, 1) Way to miss a flamer joke, New York Post, and 2) Hit by a fire truck??? Oh wait, OK, he was in a taxi at the time. He wasn't just walking around and then got boofed by a hook-and-ladder. That would be insane. But still. Ezra Miller is not necessarily gay (actually he's probably straight and just, like, publicly experimenting or some nonsense), but he was hit by a fire truck. That's the Ezra Miller news you're getting today. [Page Six]

Halle Berry is going to court to get permission to move with her daughter to Paris, even though the child's father doesn't want that to happen. Berry's reasoning is that she and her daughter are routinely harassed by paparazzi in Los Angeles and that, because of strict laws in France, that would not happen in Paris. Plus it probably helps that Berry is engaged to known Frenchman Olivier Martinez. Understandably the father is not too thrilled with this idea, but c'mon, dude. It's Paris! Who wouldn't want their kid to grow up in Paris? Just think of how insufferable that little girl will be as a teenager, as an American expat living in Paris with a movie star mother! Oh heavens, she will be just dreadful. Doesn't her father want that for her? Isn't that the dream we all have for our children, that they may one day grow up to be complete nightmares? It's the American dream. Or the Franco-American dream, at least. Free Nahla! [TMZ]

Joe Jonas says that Taylor Swift's buzzed-about new song "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" is not about him. He told a radio station that, "I don't think we've ever tried another time," so clearly the song, about a couple that has tried to get back together, is not about him and Swift. He went on to add, "Plus Taylor has always been really supportive of me and my boyf— uh, roommate, Bradley, so... Yeah. I mean. She knows that certain things are, uh, a certain way now, so really there's no question about us getting back together because, uh, I have... I mean, I'm just really focused on making things work with my roommate Bradley right now, you know as roommates, because how you live with someone is important, and we've been trying new things, which I think is good, and you know... Have you ever watched the Olympics naked? It's... It's different. I'll tell you that. It's different." Then he fell quiet for a long time and you could hear faintly in the background the sound of a ballerina music box, then a giggle, on the wind as if from a ghost, and then the interview was over. [People]

In 1991 some dude said to Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, "Hey you should play the drums upside down on a roller coaster." Then twenty years later Tommy Lee played the drums upside down on a roller coaster. So, the guy who said that thing twenty years ago is suing. That's just what's happening these days. Two especially surprising things from this utterly surprising story: A) Motley Crue is still doing concerts and B) Motley Crue has the money to build a roller coaster for Tommy Lee to drum on. Those facts are pretty surprising to me. [TMZ]

Real Stinkwife of Hotlanta Kim Zolciak has wiggled a new human from her loins, this one a boy named Kash Kade. Yes, Kash Kade. Kim told the press, "Our dream for our son, and this is why we named him Kash Kade, is that he may one day be the professional one in a gay-for-pay movie. Maybe they'll be driving around in a van picking up broke straight dudes? Who knows. With a name like Kash Kade, he could go anywhere. Mostly to south Florida, but really anywhere." Also this is a good time to remind you that Kim Zolciak's husband is named Kroy. KROY. Asked for a statement, Kroy told reporters, "Son of Kroy will grow big and strong! Son of Kroy not afraid of mountain ogre or lake beast! Son of Kroy will crush skulls of enemies! Also Son of Kroy will likely feature in film called Cage Match Gang Bang, because Son of Kroy is named Kash Kade, and come on, what else is young man with name like Kash Kade going to do? Usually Kash Kade is a name that actor makes up, but in Son of Kroy's case, it is already name. So. Yeah. Hey, it a living." [Us Weekly]

Remember how we're always joking about how the Hamptons are the worst? Well: "Gwyneth Paltrow and Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld are hosting a starry showing of Jake Gyllenhaal’s new movie, End of Watch, Sunday in East Hampton." Game, set, match. This kind of foolery would never happen on Block Island. [Page Six]

Apparently Good Morning America news reader Josh Elliott is a total diva, yelling at staffers about the copy he's supposed to read and openly vying for George Stephanopoulos' anchor char. Ha! Morning show drama is the best. Here's hoping that Elliott and Ann Curry sometimes get drinks together and after about the fourth martini, Ann leans forward across the table and says, "Y'know what, Joshie? Y'know what? Just f--k, 'em. F--k 'em all. Just f--k 'em up, f--k 'em down. F--k 'em left, sideways, and backwards. They can all suck Al Roker's fat finger, for all I care. And you over there? At G'mornin' USA? You're gonna be fine. Just throw a fish at their face. Whaddo I know, huh? Whaddo I know. What's CBS doing? Let's go work there. Who cares. Where do you live? Can I come over? C'mon, Joshie. Lemme come over." And then she does. [Page Six]

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