Beloved indie film actress turned beloved television actress Chloë Sevigny, in addition to her upcoming duties as "Shelly the Nymphomaniac" on the new mental asylum-set season of American Horror Story, is joining the cast of Portlandia for the wacky, bobo hipster-skewing IFC show's third season. She'll be playing some lady who moves in with the two leads, Fred and Carrie, and, I dunno, probably does silly stuff. There's no word on how many episodes she's going to be in, but it sounds like maybe more than one? Which is very exciting! Who doesn't like Chloë Sevigny? And she's a perfect fit for Portlandia. In that, y'know, she can kind of make fun of herself. Of course she's more glam indie than crunchy indie, which is the show's chief focus, but it's all kind of tangled up with each other at this point, isn't it? Anyway, point is, this is good news. [Entertainment Weekly]
OK, we've talked about this before, but it's officially officially official now: Sam Claflin, who you may have seen as the dopey Other Dude in Snow White and the Huntsman, has been cast as sexy sexman Finnick in Catching Fire, the sequel to The Hunger Games. Which... I mean, dude looks like this, so we're not complaining exactly, it's just he's a little too, I dunno, nice looking or something. He's supposed to be totally attractive, and Sam Claflin is just that, but he's supposed to also be a bit of a ponce, and this Claflin character is too sweet or innocent looking to be a ponce, y'know? Maybe y'don't know, but y'should. We've had a hard time coming up with our own suggestions, aside from wishing they'd figure out how to get Jude Law circa 1994 into the movie, but our best guess was maybe Julian Morris? Maybe him? Eh, it's a moot point now. Sam Claflin it is. All hail. [The Hollywood Reporter]
Writer/director Paul Haggis is putting together his latest thing, a thing called Third Person, which, like Crash before it, tells many "interlocking" stories at once. But instead of racist stereotypes being used to expose racism but actually kind of reinforcing racism in the process of teaching a very remedial, obvious, heavy-handed lesson about racism, this movie is about love. No, no more of that race stuff from Paul Haggis for a while, one hopes. This us firmly about love — relationships, to be exact. So yeah, he's putting it together, and he's assembling quite the cast. So far Liam Neeson, Mila Kunis, Olivia Wilde (with whom he worked on the underrated The Next Three Days), Casey Affleck, and James Franco have signed up to feature in the film, which covers three stories, one in New York, one in Paris, and one in Rome. Ha, so basically, with the exception of London and Barcelona, Paul Haggis is making three contemporary Woody Allen movies smooshed into one movie and making it more serious. And he's got the celebrity ensemble of white actors to prove it. Will this be any good? Impossible to say. Haggis is seriously it or miss, so it really could go either way. Can't be worse than Crash, though! Right? Nothing could ever be worse than that movie? Don't think so. Really doesn't seem possible.[Deadline]
Those of you champing at the bit for the sequel to The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, you know those rape fetishists and whatnot out other, are gonna have to wait. The sequel to David Fincher's moodily beautiful but unnecessarily brutal film adaptation was supposed to maybe come out next year, but now it's going to be delayed. The script isn't done, Fincher hasn't signed back on, basically nothing has been accomplished. Though the studio is committed, the lack of momentum is somewhat understandable. The $90 million film did pretty well, earning some $230 million worldwide, but it wasn't exactly the smash-hit phenomenon it was supposed to be, considering how popular the books are. Guess not everyone wants to go see gruesome rape thrillers just before Christmas. So will they want to see a gruesome rape thriller's sequel just before, say, Memorial Day 2014? We'll have to wait and see. [Entertainment Weekly]
Justin Bieber is going to be playing himself on an upcoming episode of The Simpsons. Which initially seems like kind of boring news. But then you consider that Justin Bieber was born during the show's fifth season, which was one of its best — with "$pringfield," "Homer Goes to College," "Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy," and "Rosebud" among the highlights. Then you consider that most of his fans were likely born even later than that, as the show began its slow decline, and really they only know The Simpsons as a sad shell of its former self, and that's when this news goes from kinda boring to soul-screamingly depressing and you want to walk down to the river and stare out at the water and watch clouds streak across the sky and wonder lots and lots of things about time. Either that or you want to go watch old Simpsons episodes. [The Hollywood Reporter]
Here's a new red band trailer — beware: boobs and swears abound! — for the upcoming bootlegging drama Lawless. And I dunno, it's weird. Like, it has a good cast (minus LaBeouf, natch) and looks pretty and is an interesting topic and all that, and yet... And yet it doesn't really do it, does it? Everyone just seems to be trying sooo hard. It's all a bit much. Relax, guys. Just relax. Have a drink.
And here is the first poster for Steven Spielberg's upcoming Abraham Lincoln biopic, Lincoln. It's very serious and plain, isn't it? Where are the vampires? Or if not vampires, this is a Steven Spielberg movie, so at least some damn robots or something? Maybe this is misdirection. People will think they're going to see something serious and historical but they're actually getting special FX and zoom-zooms and all that. Here's hoping, anyway.
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