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People are buzzing — people, just a nebulous group of people — that world's most famous couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie might be getting married this weekend. Y'see, preparations are being made for a big party at the couple's chateau in Provence, with Pitt's parents flying in and presumably all the animated pots and dishes and clocks in the castle busily getting ready for some kind of grand event while singing a song. The locals in town — so I guess those are the "people" — are buzzing that this could be it. Supposedly the jeweler that made Angelina's engagement ring is in town for the event. So, that could mean something significant. They could finally be tying the knot. How exciting! Meanwhile, other folks are buzzing that Jennifer Aniston has finally pried open a box of wine after struggling for a bit and has turned the Carly Simon up pretty loud and is pacing back and forth in the living room, shaking her head to the music, while she waits for Courteney to come over, who you'd better believe is rushing on over. [The Sun]

As we mentioned yesterday, Jay Penske — heir to the Penske fortune and the owner of Deadline, Movieline, TV Line, Lance Bass' On the Line, etc. — and his brother Mark were arrested early Thursday morning in Nantucket for breaking and entering. See, the brothers were peeing in a parking lot, were approached by two women who I guess were trying to stop them, and then Jay turned around and started peeing on one of the women's boots. He then pushed her and ran away, and the two brothers entered a "residence" on private yacht club property. Jay was arrested while trying to run away from police at some point, while Mark apparently fell down a staircase and hurt himself. Anyway, they were both hauled off and while the peed-upon woman didn't press charges, the brothers were arraigned for B&E after spending the night in jail. And when we talk about "jail" in Nantucket we mean a little cell located in the back of where Wings is, so add that to the long list of indignities. Now, Penske's company is defending automobile parts heir: "These so -called ‘facts’ published by various media outlets are erroneous, and PMC has been assured that the misdemeanor charge for trespassing against Jay Penske will be resolved." Nice going, boys. [Page Six]

Pippa Middleton isn't the only royal-in-law stepping out for the cameras. Duchess Kate's brother James was photographed on Wednesday night with former actress Mischa Barton at the opening of her London boutique, Mischa's Place. Yeah. He went to a store that Mischa Barton owns. OK, so it's not exactly someone brandishing a gun in Paris or whatever else Pippa gets up to. But it's something, OK? It's something. Meanwhile: Mischa Barton owns a store? She's like Phoebe Cates! In pretty much just that way. Curious about what Barton is up to other than opening this wee shoppe, I looked her up on Wikipedia and found this curious detail: "In fall 2012, she will return to the stage, in the Irish stage production of Steel Magnolias." Good heavens. Oh good heavens. [Us Weekly]

"Lindsay Lohan Has a Mellow Night Out With Pals" reads the headline. The article then talks about how she was seen at some ridiculous place called Bootsy Bellows with a few friends and they sat quietly in a booth and didn't draw attention to themselves. Sure, OK. But then the kicker above the headline is a bright red "Caught in the Act!" Caught in the Act! Of having a mellow night with friends. Man, Lindsay Lohan just can't win, can she? Damned if she does, damned if she doesn't, might as well go eat worms. Or move. She could also move to, like, St. Louis or something. Caught in the Act! Of going to Schnucks. [People]

Ryan Reynolds was apparently on a Virgin America flight to LAX the other day and when it landed he really wanted to get off and so bolted up from his seat but then had to sit back down again because security came on the plane to help escort out a man in coach who was having health problems of some kind. So poor Ryan Reynolds was forced to sit back down and "put on a hat and sunglasses so no one would recognize him." Tragedy. Real tragedy for Ryan Reynolds. Though, I'm not sure he had to be that secretive about being Ryan Reynolds. Like, people would care to see him, I'm sure, but it's not like people are beating down the door for the Green Lantern's autograph is it? Who knows, maybe it is, but it doesn't seem like it. Anyway, we're glad that Ryan Reynolds eventually got off the plane. Who the hell knows about the guy with the medical emergency, but Ryan Reynolds is going to be just fine. [Page Six]

This is really getting serious. Jug-blowin' Jezebel Taylor Swift has taken her bewitched Kennedy boy toy Conor to the backwoods wilds of Nashville, TN to show him around where she lives and to, gulp, introduce him to her parents. The foursome was spotted eating a meal at some sort of restaurant (possibly the Pancake Pantry) and afterward Taylor toured Conor around and posed for photos with fans. People took to Facebook and Tumblr to describe their encounters with Swift, one saying "I met Taylor Swift with my absolute best friends like we said we would do one day. We saw her with her new boyfriend. We told her how happy we were for here and she had the biggest smile on her face. God is so good." Ha, yes. God is so good. God is so good because you met Taylor Swift with your friends while you were holding a freezie. (See pic.) God is good because of that. God is... mysterious... because of, like, Syria or whatever, but in terms of meeting Taylor Swift outside the Pancake Pantry while you're eating a freezie? Yes, God is so good. So, so good. [Daily Mail]

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