Mere weeks after Ann Curry's unceremonious dismissal, her replacement Savannah Guthrie is suffering. It seems Guthrie has been having severe migraines, headaches so bad that she sees a doctor for treatment twice a week and spends most of her off-camera time wearing dark sunglasses to go easy on her eyes. Apparently her coworkers haven't even noticed, because Guthrie is a pro at keeping the skull-splitting pain to herself, but still, someone should get to the bottom of this. If not through medicine, through... other means. Namely: Go to Kathie Lee and Hoda when they're in one of their meditative wine trances and have them "read" Savannah's face and head. After a few minutes of humming and croaking to themselves they'll say "Yes, yes, it's a curse you seek, a most terrible knotty noggin curse. The dread of the head! The bane of the cranium. Find the curser or she'll feel worser!" And then they'll both cackle and start singing a strange old song and that's your cue to leave. Then you gotta find who's doing it. And boy I'll bet you: You can toss Ann Curry's apartment as much as you want. You won't find a thing. But that doll with the pin in its head that Natalie Morales has been carrying around? Look into that. That or see if Willard Scott has been going around hitting sleeping people in the dome with a gigantic cartoon mallet again. [Page Six]
Tom Cruise took daughter Suri on a mini beach vacation in the Hamptons yesterday. They were only there until the afternoon though, when they took a helicopter back to Manhattan. Suri was later seen being escorted to a gymnastics class by her mother. But, good that dad and daughter got to see each other. That's important, of course. You know what's more important though? An article on E! online that asks "Why Is Suri Always Being Carried?" Why?? Why is this child never walking, except for when she's photographed walking?? What could possibly be going on? And then the answer is that she likes to be carried because of the aggressive paparazzi. E! finds this out by talking to... a paparazzo. So: Why is Suri Cruise always being carried? Because of a thing we do all the time. That's the snake barfing out its own tail, I think. [Us Weekly; E!]
Well, well, well. Alec Baldwin's humble yoga instructor bride Hilaria Thomas ain't so humble after all. Mere weeks after the May-December couple wed, Thomas has been named a guest host at TV tabloid magazine Extra. Thomas will be hosting a special on the Hamptons, where she sometimes teaches yoga. She'll basically be touring the various hotspots in the area, which sounds about as boring as the actual Hamptons. So isn't that interesting. The civilian, suddenly a TV host. Funny how those things happen. We may have underestimated you, Ms. Thomas. Looks like someone's actually here to play. [Page Six]
Having learned a lesson during the whole Kris Humphries debacle, Kim Kardashian wants her family OUT of her relationship with Kanye West. Everyone else? Come on in. [Radar]
Here's a picture of Claire Danes celebrating her Emmy nomination by walking while holding a sandwich. Look at her baby bump! Angela Chase is with child. Can you believe it? I wonder what Graham and Patty think. Is it Brian Krakow's? It must be. Ew. Maybe it's Sharon's boyfriend's. What was his name? Kyle, right? Oh, Kyle. I miss you, Kyle. [The Daily Mail]
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