Welcome to the Smart Set. Every morning we bring you the gossip coverage, filtered. Today: Jen Aniston has turned down an engagement, Brad Pitt's mom doesn't like gay people, and Taylor Swift is cozying up to the Kennedys.
World's oldest unmarried woman Jennifer Aniston is rumored to have turned down a proposal from her steady beau Justin Theroux while the pair were on a fabulous European grand tour last month. The two are still an item, moving into a $21 million mansion (bought by Jen) and everything, but she apparently did say no to being engaged. Maybe she will never be engaged! She recently told Spanish GQ (it's like regular GQ except it comes on a bunch of small plates) that she thinks "the perfect life" is "a cliché." Well, well, well, if years of spinsterdom haven't turned ol' Jen Aniston into a cynic! All those nights sitting in the dark in a rocking chair by the window eating peanut brittle. All those days spent swimming to the bottom of a bottle of chardonnay out by the pool, the hot sun cooking her brain, filling it with sad ideas, mournful philosophies. Poor Jen! Ruined by time. Left to go on fancy vacations with her handsome boyfriend and then go home to her $21 million beachside mansion with him. Pray for her. [The Daily Mail]
Meanwhile, Aniston's ex, Brad Pitt, is having a little scandal because of something his mama did. Jane Pitt wrote a letter to The Springfield News-Leader (but is it really the news leader? Really?) in her hometown of Springfield, Missouri in which she said something in support of Mitt Romney that seems perhaps a little anti-gay marriage. It read: "Any Christian should spend much time in prayer before refusing to vote for a family man with high morals, business experience, who is against abortion, and shares Christian conviction concerning homosexuality just because he is a Mormon." Uh ohhhhh! Brad Pitt's old-ass mom is a bigot! Some old lady who lives in the woods maybe is not a fan of gay people in theory! This is terrible news. Brad Pitt's career is ruined. Throw that Oscar you were going to give him for Killing Them Softly next year into Mount Doom, Academy. (Yeah, they were finally going to give you one, Brad. Oh well.) It's all over. An old woman who lives in the Ozarks and writes letters to newspapers has said something that's maybe against us gays. Everything is different now. [Us Weekly]
Oh hellll no. Country barn swallow Taylor Swift has been seen recently in the company of the Kennedys. Like the Kennedys. Particularly Patrick Schwarzenegger, who, though he doesn't sound like one, is indeed a Kennedy. (His mom is Maria Shriver, known Kennedy.) Yeah, Taylor was at the Compound. The Compound, you guys. Taylor Swift. With Patrick Schwarzenegger, known himbo. They were hugging! In Hyannis Port! Nunh uh, Taylor. Noooope. You are not allowed. Back away. If anyone is going to be hanging out at the Kennedy Compound, splish-splashing around with the Camelot clan and hugging its eligible bachelors, it's gonna be us. Well, no, not us. But, like, someone deserving of the crown! Oh if only Rose was still alive, she'd put a stop to this. What has polite society become? Just what has it become. [People]
This is sad. Suri Cruise and her mom Katie Holmes went to lunch the other day at Alice's Tea Cup in Manhattan, a fairy tea party kinda themed restaurant that is basically Zion for little girls. Anyway, she had a grand old time, and at the end of the meal she was heard saying to her mom "This is the best day ever!" Sweet but sad, isn't it? "The best day ever." That phrase will echo through her head throughout the years, when she's older and things have turned strange. Half-passed out at a nightclub in Miami on her 19th birthday, Patrick Schwarzenegger, old and fattened now, prodding at her leg, This is the best day ever... The best day ever... ringing in her head like a faint, distant bell. Sad thing. A very sad thing. [Us Weekly]
Justin Bieber was seen holding hands with his girlfriend Selena Gomez in Los Angeles last night, despite reports that the couple was having problems. (Ha. "Reports" is probably a heavy word when we're talking about two six-year-olds having a kissy-kissy.) So, good for them. They were going to dinner at place called Pink Pepper, which, come on, L.A. Just stop it with places named things like Pink Pepper. I don't care if it's a classy Thai restaurant. Just stop it. And burn the Pink Taco down too. All of them. Just burn it all down. Come, fires! Cleanse it all to ash! And take STK with you too. [TMZ]
Aw rats. Some friends had a surprise party for New York State's first girlfriend and Food Network host Sandra Lee in the Hamptons because she just won a bunch of Daytime Emmys (the equivalent of being stabbed with a Primetime Emmy) and it got rained out. They set up outside on the beach but then the rains came and they had to scramble and pack everything back into the catering truck and drive off to someone's house to finish the party. What a bummer. The worst part? As they were driving they passed Ina Garten's house and Ina was out there building a rutabaga from scratch or something and it wasn't raining. It was not raining on Ina Garten's property. She looked up and saw the van and gave soggy Sandra a wave and Sandra shrieked "What the f-ck!!!!! Damn you, Garten!!!" as the van rolled on in the rain. That damn Ina Garten. She always wins. [Page Six]
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.
We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to firstname.lastname@example.org.