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Today in non-tragic show business news: Christ Hemsworth may be teaming up with Steven Spielberg, Clea DuVall goes to work for Ryan Murphy, and Kenneth Branagh will soon be a villain.

When he's done walking around with his tiny baby in his enormous arms, earthbound god Chris Hemsworth might very well be starring in Steven Spielberg's Robopocalypse. (Worst title ever, or worst title since Real Steel? Both about robots!) Yeah, the two met in secret and Spielberg likes him so he wants him to come aboard the big rock 'em sock 'em picture, which is scheduled to open April 25, 2014. Do it, Chris! But also don't get too bogged down in doing all these big tentpole action movies. Do some real acting too. We know you can do it. And no, the race car movie with Ron Howard does not count. Anyway, good luck against those robots. Also, please scoop us in those big basket arms of yours maybe? [Deadline]

The American Horror Story casting keeps getting more intriguing. They've hired late '90s emo/goth poster girl Clea DuVall for an unspecified role. The season is set at a mental institution in the 1960s, and Clea was in Girl Interrupted, so she should be just fine in this. Oh Clea! Remember her in The Faculty? I think every boy and girl had a crush on her. We were all pretty wild in the late '90s. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Kenneth Branagh, who has a strange kind of career these days (what is it with British Shakespeare actors getting all weird with it when they hit about 50?), is in talks to be the villain in the Jack Ryan series reboot starring Chris Pine. He'd play some sort of evil Russian madman hellbent on destroying the world economy. So we'll get a soupy (borschty?) Russian accent from Kenneth Branagh and then before you know it he'll be selling wine like the best of 'em. [Variety]

Lifetime: Television For Staring Catatonically At The Wall While A Baby Cries In Another Room has ordered a pilot of The Witches of East End, which is about witches in a small beach town, but is not, repeat is not, based on The Witches of Eastwick. That's a totally different thing. Anyway, yeah, Lifetime is really ramping up their original content, and this might be one of the shows joining the roster. Who should play the witches? Eh, let's just get Kathy Najimy, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Midler back in and call it a day. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Here is a trailer for Bachelorette, a Sundance movie based on the play by Leslye Headland. It's got a good cast and everything, but we're still not feeling it. The play was just so terrific and seemingly very different from this. For one thing, it took place in one room. And the comedy was certainly not so broad. But who knows. Headland wrote and directed this movie, so maybe the good bones are still there, but not evident in this trailer. Either way, yay for Lizzy Caplan.

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