Nowhere is the hyper-American flavor of the day more evident than the obsessive gambling around it. Witness the classic Americanism "You bet!" which is used to mean the yes all over the world. While I'm not callous enough to bet on how many concussions players will suffer in Super Bowl XLVI, the over/under is a steal at 7. Kidding!
But, in addition to betting on the coin flip—a reductio absurdum of the gambling impulse—one casino is offering action on the size of the TV audience itself. Their number seems awfully high, too. Then again, many have said the same thing of me.
At least one casino is taking National Anthem prop bets to an all-new, creepy level. Sure, you can wager on how long it will take Kelly Clarkson to sing the Star-Spangled Banner. You can also bet on whether she'll forget any of the words, and what she be wearing for the performance. (Odds are 15-1 against, for instance, that Clarkson dons any sort of Giants' apparel. She's from Fort Worth and all.) You can even lay money, pardon the expression, on whether her bellybutton will be exposed—which, yes, is the creepy part.
For me, though, betting is the epitome of another Americanism. A bet is a way "to make things more interesting." Wagering next month's rent on Kelly Clarkson's bare midriff is a way to care. Necessary, because I don't. That is, I don't care who wins Super Bowl XLVI. And I'll never care who wins the big game until the Chiefs are in it. (Please, stop laughing.) So, sure, my wallet may be riding on Sunday's outcome, but I won't have nickel on this weekend's other big game—the one where my heart is.
Oh, there's another game. That would be Saturday night. Kansas and Missouri meet for supposedly one of the last battles in their century-long basketball war, and only the third time in series history the teams will meet with both ranked in the top ten. Helz. Yes.
That game, when No. 8 KU visits No. 4 Missouri, will be pretty interesting for yours truly with or without or without Kelly Clarkson's navel.
Jake, our favorite Giants' fan, you must have bigger worries than prop bets. But share some of your favorites anyway. Bradshaw to throw for a TD pass? The number of times Al Michaels says "uge," and means "important"? How about the color of the Gatorade dump?
A whole paragraph about Big 12 basketball, Hampton? I know it's it's been a while since the Chiefs' lone Super Bowl win (hell, I think Hank Stram borrowed his outfit for Super Bowl IV from Robert Duval's character in The Godfather), but COME ON, MAN. It's the Super Bowl. I think there's more than enough to talk about.
Anyway, I could vomit up 2,000 words about this game and the remarkable last 43 days for us Giants fans, but I'll simply say that I have never been this excited for a sporting event in my life. Bar none. On to my almost-fully-baked prop bets...