If you're not a sports person, but you want to make some money off this weekend's Super Bowl, why not bet on whether or not Kelly Clarkson will bare her stomach while singing the National Anthem.
Luckily, we live in a world where that bet can actually be made with a real-life bookmaker. So-called "proposition bets" are ones placed on whether a certain thing will happen during a game that don't necessarily determine the outcome. For example: Will there be a safety? Which team will score the first touchdown?
Thankfully for the sports illiterate, the mega-sized attention the Super Bowl garners means bookmakers start offering some pretty exotic bets for the last game of the year. Charted below are a dozen offbeat bets one can make at a gambling website called Bovada. They're ranked in order of payout if the answer is 'yes' to each question (the higher the payout, presumably the less likely the event will happen). That Kelly Clarkson bet, for example, will pay bettors $5 for each dollar bet if her bare belly shows.
Madonna! Gisele! Stocks! Yep, there's so much to the Super Bowl beyond football. So go ahead, you non-sports person, place your bets from among the choices above, lest you only want a Honda commercial's attempt to
ruin revive the 1980s be your sole entertainment during the game. For what it's worth*, here's where we think the smart money lies.
Will Peyton Manning be shown on TV more than 3 times? Well, we already know Peyton gets to play third wheel to Jerome Bettis and Papa John in this pizza ad, scheduled to air during the game. And considering that we found cameras panning to the older Manning brother watching from a luxury box at least three times in two YouTube clips from Eli's last Super Bowl, it's safe to presume that Peyton yet again will be on TV plenty Sunday. Like he always is. Bet 'yes.'
Will Gisele Bundchen be shown on TV at least once? As with Peyton, evidence on YouTube from Super Bowl XLII points to at least one Gisele cameo. Are you surprised that networks like to put Tom Brady's hot wife on TV? (You shouldn't be.) Again, bet 'yes.'
Will the Dow Jones go up the day after the Super Bowl? Always looking for tea leaves to decipher, stock market watchers closely analyze the outcome of the Super Bowl for any affects on trading the next day. And they've found a pretty strong one, uncreatively calling it "Super Bowl Theory." "And this theory postulates that when a team from the old NFL wins, the stock market tends to go up," according to MarketWatch. An old team, for example, like the Giants. But if a (relatively) newer team, like the Patriots founded in 1960, wins, stocks go down. And if you're not an sports person, you shouldn't be in the business of picking winners. We'd say it's foolhardy to make betting decisions on such a nonsensical correlation (though at 80 percent, a strong one!), but betting is pretty foolhardy to being with. We recommend avoiding this wager.
Will Kelly Clarkson forget or omit at least 1 word of the National Anthem? Given Christina Aguilera's National Anthem flub last year, this is a tempting wager (which is probably why Bovada is offering it). But one instance does not a trend make. Like most pop stars, Kelly Clarkson is very experienced National Anthem singer. So we're not going to let last year's less-than-stellar performance sway us. We recommend avoiding this wager.
*Granted, most of our evidence is based off of YouTube clips.
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.