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The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types care about. Today: A 'Game of Thrones' teaser excites us, Martin Scorsese is headed north, and Pamela Anderson is the mother of god.

Gods be praised! HBO has released a little behind-the-scenes teaser promo type thing for season 2 of Game of Thrones, their terrific series based on the epic fantasy (but don't be scared by that word! They're really good, promise!) books by George R.R. Martin. What will befall (or rather, bewinter, hyuk) our friends in Westeros and beyond? Well, the promo doesn't offer much information, but if you've read the books you already know and if you haven't read them you don't want to know because it is all so surprising and exciting. It's fun to see the faces of a few new characters, including Natalie Dormer's Margaery Tyrell, whose character is likely going to be significantly expanded from the books. (That's not a spoiler, probably?) Anyway, the point is: Is it April yet? Please make it April already. Wait for us, Jon Snow! (Specifically some of us!)

Martin Scorsese has decided to go ahead and direct a movie called The Snowman, which, one hopes, is a way bloodier remake of the 1998 Michael Keaton family movie Jack Frost. It's about an absentee father dying, becoming a snowman, and reconnecting with his son, but it's also about the absentee dad-turned-snowman getting brutal revenge on those who did him wrong. It's a wrap, cut, print. Good movie. Hm? What's that? It's actually yet another adaptation of a Scandinavian crime novel (this one from Norway), this one about a detective named Harry Hole (heh) investigating the gruesome killings of a serial killer in Oslo? Oh. Man, all of these Nordic murder tales are really shattering some illusions about Sweden and Norway and the like being quaint, peaceful little countries where the standard of living is high and the worst crime committed is that someone's nose and cheeks aren't rosy enough. What's happened to the Scandinavian dream?? [THR]

Because puppets are super hot right now ("Hot puppets, here! Get your hot puppets!"), NBC has bought a show proposal about a regular, human, non-felt-based family that lives next door to a family of scary pruppets. The show will be called The New Nabors, which, well, great, now what the hell is Jim Nabors going to call his plastic surgery show? Stupid puppets, ruining it for everybody. [EW]

Huh. Apparently some chucklehead up in Canada has decided to cast former curiosity Pamela Anderson as the Virgin Mary in his upcoming Canadian TV (just a moose doing a shadow puppet show) special, A Russell Peters Christmas Special. Apparently some groups are upset because some people saw Pamela Anderson naked like fifteen years ago and ohh dear, Mary herself had no genitals only smooth diamonds where the naughty bits would go, so Pam Anderson can't possibly play her. Really guys? This is what we're getting upset about these days? At this point Pamela Anderson is about as shocking as I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. We can believe it. We can totally believe it by now. [THR]

Uh oh. Hate to break the bad news to some of you, but ABC has cut their order of Cougar Town episodes to just 15, with the premiere scheduled for March. That's not a terribly good sign for the future of the show. Now how will people make jokes about wine?? Cougar Town is the show that makes wine jokes, and if there's not enough Cougar Town, or possibly no Cougar Town at all, will there never be wine jokes again? Everyone loves wine jokes! Come on, guys. Save the wine jokes! And whatever other jokes this show makes. Does it make other jokes? Probably one or two. But it's mostly wine. And we need those wine jokes. Occupy Wine Jokes! Or ABC! (Actually, Occupy Occupy Jokes, because sheesh, they're so 2011.) [Deadline]

Here is an interesting list of the most frequently recurring characters on Saturday Night Live. Some are obvious -- Church Lady, Pat, Stuart Smiley, Delicious Dish -- but others are either depressing (The Ladies' Man, the Rob Schneider thing with the annoying guy at the office) or really surprising. Like, number one is very surprising! Mostly because, who? Oh sure, plenty of people probably remember that character, but the most used ever? More than, like, Goat Boy? Remember Goat Boy? Oh dear god, do you remember Goat Boy. [Vulture]

When you first hear that Sylvester Stallone is putting on a stage musical of Rocky, you first think “Oh brother, there they go again, putting another lame movie adaptation on Broadway, can’t they come up with any new ideas?” Because that’s what you always say about Broadway, surely to the delight of your many friends. (All That Chat counts as friends, right?) But! Don’t be so quick to dismiss this project. It isn’t even going to be on Broadway, it’s going to be in weird old Germany. So that kind of makes it OK. The Germans like strange and upsetting things ([insert obvious David Hasselhoff joke]), so why wouldn’t they like this strange and upsetting thing? It will feature songs from the movie like “Eye of the Tiger” and also “many new compositions,” which… Oh please let Sly write the music. It would be really fun to hear a synth-scored song called “Adrian” that Sylvester Stallone wrote. ("Adrian, oh Adrian / I love you like a school kid no matter what grade we’re in / Adrian, ohhh Adrian / What time does my victory parade begin?") It could be really good. Danke, Herr Stallone! [The Wrap]

This was late-breaking news on Friday, but here it is now anyway: Elisabeth Shue, she of Hollow Man among other movies, has been tapped to replace Marg Helgenberger as the lead lady on CSI: Original Recipe. The show, currently in its 39th season and featuring Ted Danson in the William Petersen role, will welcome Shue in the middle of February. She'll be playing a hard-charging forensic expert who's just come out of anger management and is trying to keep it cool while she investigates murders in Sin City. That seems like a brilliant idea. "Hey, you have rage issues? Let's send you to investigate murders... in Las Vegas. That should keep you calm and collected." Brilliant thinking, fictional bureaucrats! Anyway, good for Ms. Shue? Really not sure. On the one hand, it's work. On the other hand, it's CSI's 72nd year of existence and hasn't it all been a bit too much by now? How many science murders can there be in Las Vegas, anyway? Actually, don't answer that. There can be so many science murders in that desert wasteland. So, sure, OK. Good luck, Ms. Shue! You're gonna need it. [Deadline]

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