Millions of Americans will deep-fry their Thanksgiving turkey this year, but only one video of exploding poultry will be good enough to be win The Atlantic Wire's award for holiday public service announcements. Like some manna from local television news producing heaven, the phenomenon of deep-fried turkey combines delicious with blazing fireballs of danger. And to celebrate this confluence of factors, The Atlantic Wire is looking for the most alarming deep-fried turkey tutorial of the year. Every day between now and Thanksgiving we'll be rating a clip on a scale from 1 (a pretaped, offsite how-to without no explosions) to 10 (a raging greasefire, live in-studio). Enjoy, and remember to leave your score, pass along any clips we might have missed in the comments section, and check out all the previous installments.
Today: KDVR Fox 31 (Denver)
Rating: 8.2 Now this is interesting. Most turkey frying tutorials adhere to the theory, "Slow and steady avoids the raging house fire." But what if you're in a hurry? Enter Dan Daru of KDVR. According to the sleepy-sounding anchorwoman who introduces him, Daru has found the secret to frying a bird in "one quarter time." Does that mean it's done 75 percent faster than normal or just 25 percent? Unclear! The actual frying is done by a man named Bayou Bob in a real kitchen, far away from on-camera talent with dangling microphone cables and sensible cloth coats that could cause them all to go up in flames. It all looks delicious, homey, and fast, until Denver fire lieutenant Phil Champagne pops up in a kitchen studio apartment to remind Daru that "you're dealing with a dangerous thing there" full of scalding oil that children and dogs must never be allowed to catch glimpse of, lest they be driven mad and refuse to eat anything but yams. This is upsetting and should give anyone with aspirations of being named fastest fry in the township pause. There are no easy answers. There also aren't any flames, which prevents it from overtaking William Shatner in the top spot.
- William Shatner for State Farm: 8.3
- KDVR 31 (Denver): 8.2
- KFSM 5 (Fayetteville, Arkansas) 7.5
- KXRM Fox 21 (Colorado Springs): 7.1
- WDBJ 7 (Roanoke, Virginia) 6.9
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